From before (2)

Listen: Today is your day: eat, sleep and be well.

I haven’t done anything today, really. I’ve been alone in the best, day-in-the-life way, and not getting wrapped up in it, but just listening and following through at my own pace. I was up at 830am, had breakfast and did a few dishes, let the sunshine in, folded some laundry. Washed, cleaned my teeth and tidied my hair and nails and dressed in clothes for moving in; I hate clothes that feel like you’re drowning in a box at the bottom of the sea. I like clothes that make me believe I can do anything. Pants you can get on and off without a fight to the death, tops you can pull out when you’re tearing off, without worrying about how many directions you can’t go in.

I had a crappy sleep last night, but a decent nap this afternoon. I’ve eaten my way through a bowl of porridge with 1 whole banana, flax seed and coconut milk, topped with peanut butter. Tea and toast and an orange. Dinner will be a tie between stir fry and something with potatoes and beans.

I’m feeling sane today, if unsettled. I love my bedroom. I’ve finished re-reading the chronicles of Narnia and have to admit I have no memory of such a finale as is found on the last page. As season four of Outlander is airing in the universe of restricted access, I’ve gone old school and am rereading book 4 which is the best kind of guilty pleasure and has all the riveting and mundane pieces that make up everyday life in company with Jamie and Claire, which anyone might bristle at when artists of adaptations find they must leave out, or alter them in the interests of budget or time or the fact that the artists themselves are not omniscient and all-powerful enough to bring fully to life the story everyone plays in their heads. I have to find a new page-turner — with pages unturned — sourced from my newly beloved bookshelf.

Advertisements

Diwali

I feel so incredibly privileged today and every day to get to work with some wonderful humans. Today, November 7th, Diwali was celebrated, and I felt warm all over 🙂

I also have to say that my recent relocation and reduction in technical temptations has done me a world of good so far. The light is welcomed in, not shut out and I am sleeping and eating and feeling so much better than I have been in months. I get to walk to work again, which has so far been 100% enjoyable and stress and tumble free!

Despite being away sick for 3 consecutive days last week — and I would have given almost anything to be well enough to work instead of feeling like I got crushed under 5 pianos — I was able to play some cello, drink a ton of tea, read 3 books, including The original Wizard of Oz, (which I don’t think I’d actually read before and really enjoyed). I made popcorn at all hours, had some good belly-laughs and shed a decent amount of tears watching ‘Up’ and ‘Forrest Gump’ and ‘Secretariat’. I also caught up with a few friends and family, helped Rube with a bit of her homework and got a few more housekeeping items done! Even though the energy got sucked out of me every 20 minutes, requiring another 2 hour napping period, I did not get discouraged.

Returning to work on Monday, our fearless leader, who was also taken out by a similar illness and away for the same 3 days, welcomed me heartily back to the land of the living 🙂

I’m at the library now and I think they have the air-conditioning on? It’s freezing, even with a sweater and I think I’ll have to head home now, get dinner and warm up my toes!

Change is good, talking dogs are golden, and light is more than the absence of darkness and lessening of heavy loads.

Thanks for listening,

–Sam

Cut-throat

photo of white umbrella with blue smoke illustration
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

From sometime back in September…

This week was soul-sucking, spirit-crushing wicked fast rollercoaster.

I called my sister and cried on the phone yesterday, walked the streets in the dark, taking a trip out to view a suite in what some would term the middle of nowhere.

But at the time, it was kinda of perfect… Surrounded by apparently sane people, on the flat, with groceries just around the corner (open until midnight) and a library — as I found out today, that could have been the hormones talking. Still, that is one very big reason to bring someone along with you house-hunting –two heads are better than one. Because right then, my heart-strings were being pulled. I took that as a good sign I’m not dead inside yet.

I got up the next morning, heard 10 seconds of a story on the radio and started crying again. In my line of work, you always are reminded of the importance of mental health and positive self-talk, so I stared myself down in the mirror and said with wonderful conviction: It will be ok. Everything will be ok.

On the upside, I have a new rain-jacket that works great. Next on the list is waterproof footwear. Tacofino, with Forrest and Rube, was also delicious. And later spilling my guts to my brother who was awake, present and supportive was highly restorative 🙂 And I really, truly would like to visit France.

DailyLines from Diana Gabaldon was great way to start this morning, catching glimpses of book 9, Go Tell the Bees that I am Gone. And popcorn and Netflix is a great way to end it.

Recently, my mom said to me: “I would like to help but not sure how…Life is not so simple today” which means so much for me to hear.

–Sam

lumos

I’m really tired, but feel like today should get credit for being a decent one. I had a Kit-Kat and a hot cup of tea for a treat at work, stayed cozy and had a really good stir fry for dinner.

I’m moving again on the weekend and really looking forward to having my own place again, and enjoying some new sights and features (Balcony!!! Elevator!!!). I don’t feel at all prepared to relocate my things. Thank goodness, I think I have even less of them than even after the original ‘downsizing’ episode. So taking what’s here to the new place shouldn’t be that scary, but still.

I’m glad I can be me, and be human. And I’m glad I can share that with others and that I’m not afraid to be alone with myself. I’m glad curiosity is not extinct and that I can recharge when and how I need to.

Thank you for the great moments today. They are appreciated.

I can hardly wait to set up shop, sleep in my own bed, get lost in books and movies and tunes and let the light shine in! Also, pancakes and level ground! Clambering out from a cupboard under the stairs up to freedom on the top floor, good things are ahead (not sure I’ll be able to avoid the 3rd floor corridor though — good thing I’m dog person, haha 🙂 ).

Vendredi, etc.

Friday was good. It was satisfying, because I got done what needed to get done, including closing some files, prepping information packages, updating data, and getting some paper people ready for archiving. It was just an ordinary, comfortable Friday.

I left work around 6pm and went to check out the New West night market on Front St. It was small but lively 🙂 Now I’m home and planning to enjoy some down time. Looking forward to meeting a friend tomorrow afternoon, and also a chance of showers in the forecast!

Not having to go anywhere or do anything for the rest of the evening, plus the fact that it’s Friday, and Outlander, Season 3 has miraculously appeared on Netflix makes me so happy.

Good night, friends 🙂

Chicken Soup:

I went into the thrift store the other day and failed to exit empty handed.

I found 2 books: Chicken Soup for the Dog-lover’s Soul, and a nice hardcover copy of a book already on my shelf at home.

I’m trying to read more this year, and I think I’m doing ok at it. I’ve read/am reading: House in the Sky, The Hobbit, The Magician’s Nephew, Thinking Like a Mountain, and snippets from the Outlander series. I’d like to boost that with a visit to my new library in the next week or two.

I’d have to agree that my mom’s chicken soup is delicious and has healing properties, and is certainly good for the soul. The books are just as good. I’ve read a few and now own two.

I received Chicken Soup for the Horse-lover’s Soul as a gift one year and it remains one of my most cherished books. Now, the canine version sits on my desk at work, so if you come across me laughing hysterically or sobbing quietly during breaks, that’s your explanation right there.

 

Off at 5:

I did a bad thing. I stayed up to an ungodly hour — new design! Eeek! Now I’m grinning like a fool ’cause I’m ready to crash. I’ve done laundry, groceries, some reading, writing and been well entertained by way of Youtube, and feasted on a really excellent batch of popcorn. I’m craving Outlander, and looking to bring some more pieces into play today, but will see how that goes. I need some Ichiban first. Maybe yoga later…

 

 

Decompression sessions

It takes as long as it takes. That has been the principle I have been following for the past several weeks. Some people aren’t happy about it (sometimes I’m included in that reference) but it is beginning to show results. As the wonderful magnet on my fridge states: Good things come to those who work their asses off 🙂

I took some time Feb 21-25 away from the office to attend a conference in Sudbury, Ontario — more on that later — which was a fantastic experience, but by no means ‘time off’ and I’m still digesting everything that occurred then.

Laundry and a round-table with my connections is next on the list.

Work was so busy today, I forgot to take lunch, though I did manage to inhale my PB and banana sandwich during one 15 minute coffee break. It’s nice to be back in my own space, my own bed, on my own schedule.

Things continue to fall into place.

I’ve played some cello, am writing again, made plans with some incredible human beings, my headphones are back in business and I’m re-reading The Hobbit for the umpteenth time.

My housemate and I are on good terms. I’m earning my keep by remembering passwords, sparking conversation and helping polish off squares of home-cooked lasagna 🙂 Life is good!

 

 

Brother mine

Bits of life and laughter, brought to me and you and the world, courtesy of my brother 🙂


Forrest: “So, how was your day?”

Me: “Just cleaned up a bit and doing some reading, An Introduction to Human Prehistory.”

Forrest: (Laughs)


The following morning, out gathering ingredients for breakfast: Orange juice, local blueberries, bananas, peaches, better than butter, and pure maple syrup for a double stack of pancakes at the window. This is what happiness is!


Getting ready to catch the early ferry…

Forrest: (Running around in boxer shorts) “I’m ready! Are you ready?! Let’s go!”

Me: (In pajamas, laughing heartily on the inside) You are not ready. Pants might be a good idea?…


Dinner…

Forrest steals my chips and a pickle.

Dad: “There won’t be any left for Sami.”

Forrest: “She’s used to it. I visit and eat all her food!” (Laughs)


Your laugh is contagious, bro. ❤

Love you lots,

–Sam