‘I hurt.’

Today was crappy. I woke up at 5am and couldn’t get back to sleep. I went to work but then left early, because I couldn’t shake the feeling of ‘I feel awful’.

I hurt. Being human hurts. But somehow, saying the word hurt actually helps.

I’m never sure exactly how personal to get on this blog, however, right now I honestly don’t care a fig– all I want is a hot shower and a big cup of tea.

Later,

–Sam

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OMO

Draw lines in the sand
Hope the ocean pulls away
And doesn’t run forward

Sink down into the floor
Zip to and fro
Re-establish those comfortable nooks
And intimate gatherings

Bookshelves crafted by caring hands
Are messages of love
To settle and sleep
Today is that day

For inspired explorations
Quiet celebrations

Life In General:

Thoughts from today on how I got here and where I’m going.

Friends, I worked really hard to follow the prompts for an extended period of time fromย August 5 to Sept 18ย to give myself a bit of a challenge and look at things through a slightly different lens — so if you get the chance to explore and read some of the resulting posts, that would be super cool!

2017 at the office has been intense. Non-stop activity. Incredible support, superb team work, plenty of problem-solving and several lifetimes worth of transitions. My excitement maybe doesn’t translate directly on to the page, but I am so thrilled, and feel so amazingly privileged to work and grow with a phenomenal team of people and contribute to the betterment of society and mental health. I’m gonna cry happy tears (really, this could apply to Life In General, but in regard to this paragraph, I’m speaking of Work in particular). It’s still in progress, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it is a beautiful thing. I have no words left.

My space looks like a tornado blew through. A small tornado. That’s what I like about having less stuff– it makes less mess. I don’t know if that classifies as laziness, creativeness, problem-solving, or lack of attachment to extras or all of the above. It works for me though!

I only just realized this, but quality time is such a casual reference to something that is so utterly essential to how I interact with the world and the people in it. And it has been such a joy.

–Sam

Time out

Yikes! I am so freakin’ tired. I’d dearly love some pizza and a friend to chatter with and then a good solid 14hrs or so of sleep. And some heat. It is actually cold in here, I have goosebumps, flesh I never thought I’d see again after this summer that has literally seen the province on fire.

I need a time out, a time to regroup, and I need to make dinner.

That’s about it,

Sam

Touchy subjects

via Daily Prompt: Thorny

The world is full of touchy subjects these days. Maybe it’s not surprising that people hardly talk anymore. If you had to talk, you’d have to make time, you’d have to make space and you’d have to consider carefully your audience and your argument — more so perhaps than if you were to just cobble together a few dozen characters and emojis and hit send or snap a snippet of a recording that probably will have less impact and be remembered for only a fraction of the time it took to snap in the first place.

Let’s talk about it sometime: Sex/Gender, Culture, Suicide, Mental Health, Disability, Music, Dogs, Relationships, Food, Fitness, Veganism, Money, Faith, Work, Play, The World in General…. Shall I go on? I’ve plenty of ideas, lots of food for thought, but man, time is tight and partners in crime hard to find.

Times like these inspired the section in my ink and paper journal titled ‘Why the World Needs to go to Therapy’ ๐Ÿ™‚

–Sam

The way it was

via Daily Prompt: Penchant

Looking back, I find it rather comical what I remember as being considered the most important to the adults in my life.

Faster, faster, faster. Nothing could be done fast enough. That review ofย Dragon in a Wagon, the paper on Confederation, survival skill training, finding a lab partner or someone to talk to during French conversation.

Printing, my ‘a’s apparently looked like ‘u’s — I imagine they still do, there’s just nobody left to breathe down my neck in pursuit of perfection. And may I just add that my printing and spelling has always been and remains exceptionally legible and up to snuff? They say don’t sweat the small stuff, and this stuff was pretty small and my teachers were definitely sweating!

And eye contact, wow! I was bugged about that constantly. I wonder if they ever considered the people I had have the hardest time looking at, have the hardest eyes, like how a dog glares just before they’ve decided there’s no choice but to attack. I understand that eye contact isn’t everything for everyone in every culture but for people and cultures where it is important, you could try making your eye-balls a little more approachable!

So among other things, I’ve a penchant for taking things at my own speed, devil take those who want to hurry the process, for printing rebel ‘a’s and offering soft eyes and no judgement if you’d prefer not to look eye to eye ๐Ÿ™‚

–Sam