Category Archives: Work

Do what you love…

I rocked today. I have just a warm, solid sense of well-being. I’m so hungry and at the same time, I just want to close my eyes and fall into soft sleep on my back and watch the ceiling fade out to black. I want to read something amazing, dance like nobody’s watching and sing to my heart’s content…

Listening to Ed Sheeran’s Shape of You and realizing this was the song we danced to a while back when it happened to be there was just a handful of us, all women, in the studio by ourselves on a rainy Saturday for All Bodies Dance Project. And it was such a great moment. We all disappeared into this other world with each other, just moving to the music and completely at ease.

The weekend was a success. Slept in, cleaned up, did laundry, had a blast tucked away doing my own thing! If you have known me for anytime at all, well there’s no need to explain what that looks like, and if you’re new, well then the design and contents or concept of my ‘happy place’ is pretty much incapsulated in this here post 🙂

What have you been up to? Let me know in the comments below.

–Sam

counting…

An hour ago I spent 20 minutes freaking out about all the key points ping-ponging around my head, but now I feel fine, if a bit exhausted by thinking about all I’ve done and yet to do. I’m surprised I’m still talking. Everything has kicked into high gear and though I’m feeling capable and loved, it’s still a lot.

My brain has rearranged the order of the days of the week this week. It has been painful, thinking Tuesday is Thursday and Monday is Sunday and Wednesday is just kicking around to stir up more trouble.

Easter: I went home for the first time this year. Turkey was yummy. Pumpkin pie was better, and it was nice to enjoy a plate of nachos without feeling like a murderer — sorry, Rube.

Spring is almost sprung and I’m happy to be growing still, and growing strong. Some follow up is required but I’m hoping it will all work out. I’ve no one to ramble to, so the page is it.

I’m continuing to find the pieces that work. I’m becoming a part of the fabric of my own life which is kinda cool. I’ve a place to belong to, here and now and it means the world to me.

Only a fraction of what happens IRL ends up on this blog. IRL, I have pages full of notes and lists, reminders and random thought trains. Taking into account the recently surge in benevolent chaos, I’m now on a mission to find myself a good old-fashioned calendar, a new notebook and a pen that actually works– in addition to dance and laundry and groceries, and tea and cello/fiddle/chill if I can manage it.

Off to count sheep! 🙂

–Sam

“Hello, it’s me…”

*I am thrilled.

I can’t believe it’s after 5pm already! Work was surprisingly not freakishly busy which was a relief. Might get to visit with bro tonight, we shall see…

really like coconut yogurt!

I also really like my new wardrobe inspirations. Granted, it’s not a huge leap –probably not going to see me coming down the runway anytime soon… But dog hair, jeans and fleece, though I still love and respect their versatility tremendously, don’t have quite the monopoly they used to 😛 And it’s another way in which I feel I now have the freedom to express myself.

I honestly felt like I could never wear red growing up, because it would be wrong somehow to wear that colour when it so obviously belonged to my sister, Ruby. I also hardly ever wore pink, it seemed like a colour with so many expectations and connotations that I didn’t want to mess with. I now wear both, though white and I still are rather wary of each other!

Maybe that is the best way to put it. Expression. There are so many ways to do it, and I feel like I’ve just been building on that. Not that everything needs to be blatantly obvious or in-your-face or even logical, but I think everyone should be able to at some point see a connection with some part of themselves in all that they do — in a good way. And I can, and that makes me happy!

Thinking of a title for this post I thought of Adele’s Hello. Went to look it up again on Youtube and ended up watching this ad for Mercedes-Benz, in French, with bagpipes and the Loch Ness Monster (here). I don’t know whether to be disturbed or amused that my apparent Youtube habits of listening to French composer, Yann Teirsen and also fun celtic tunes and various Scots Gaelic videos and related content has resulted in my being targeted in this way? LOL.

I seem to walk invisible lines in picking titles for my posts. They are all significant to me. The content is important. I can — and have– looked back years later and known exactly how I felt at the time I wrote a piece. And well, the song just managed to pull up some memories, and now I think I might cry. Happy or sad tears? I’m not sure 🙂

Amazing song, random post, that’s all I got for a Monday evening. Oh, and yet another query about a ‘Pat’ I’ve never met (3 years and counting).

More later,

Sam

Dearest, look up!

Note to self to step out of work mode and into the weekend. Work being that which is constrained often by time, can have stressful elements and in my case, a lot of paper, people, talking on the telephone and information gathering.

That is to say, I want to do away with timelines, stress, paper, people, telephones and information gathering for the next 48hrs. I’ve been feeling harried, and I want to get back to feeling grounded.

I had a decent dinner and sleep, I’m showered and dressed and ready to head to dance, so I’d say I’m doing well so far.

More later. But… FYI… This whole post is actually more for MY information– but it is information you might be interested in, too, and that’s cool 😛

All Bodies Dance Project presents:

DO MAKE SHOW
June 1 and 2 @ 8pm and 2pm matinee on June 2, 2017
Roundhouse Performance Centre
Tickets $10-$25 sliding scale
(no one turned away for lack of funds)

Featuring choreography by:
Carolina Bergonzoni, Naomi Brand, Alana Prochuk, Cheyenne Seary, Rianne Svelnis and the All Bodies Dance ensemble!

More later. Got to go!

–Sam

Some one/thing

I feel the same today as I did yesterday. Yesterday was a good day.

I have been feasting. I love food. I love everything. I feel like a broken record.

I thought yesterday of oil and vinegar. That’s how I feel, like oil and vinegar in a bottle (but inverted) so as to be mellow and rich on the bottom, and just ready to pack a powerful punch of flavour and tartness on top. My feet felt weighed down and my mind was still going at a good clip, thinking of dinner and the day and anything and everything in between. I’m so tired and so invigorated at the same time. Work has been incredibly busy. I’ve been doing a lot. Dance has been challenging.

I just, I can’t explain it. It can’t be got. And I don’t really want anything to change, honestly. I think this is who I am, who I want to be. Myself in every sense of the word. I feel whole 🙂

–Sam

Trop de…Beurk!

I’m super happy the weekend has begun!

However I’m kinda pissed that I stink still of a horrible mixture of overpowering scents that was the office today. My throat actually hurts and I feel a tad nauseous. I understand not everyone may be able to shower as needed — and maybe to you, you smell amazing. I am happy for you. But there are limits! No need to attempt to alter the atmospheric composition any further. O2 suits me fine 🙂

I’m gonna go have tea.

–Sam

Everything

Hey,

So I’ve been busy. Really busy.

I’ve had so many referrals and inquiries come in that numerous times I’ve been unable to find the top of my desk under all the layers and piles of paper. I haven’t stopped calling people and the phone hasn’t stopped ringing. Mail is incoming and outgoing at a truly ridiculous rate, inventory is in a period of transition, as is the office in general. The flow of people has been constant and large.

I attended my first Mental Health Breakfast event at the HOpe Centre last Friday. It was fun! Syntyche was presenting and I manned the table, distributing brochures, videos and information on Bounce Back to anyone interested to know more. If you are, you can visit bouncebackbc.ca or call me! 😀 I’ve heard the radio ads a few times now, and it always makes me smile to think that I am part of the team that makes it possible for people to know about and access such a great resource, and not be afraid to talk about mental health or ask for help if they are struggling.

I’ve realized I’m not the kind of person that thrives on oodles of anything — well, except maybe popcorn and quality film… And I also don’t have a lot of people — really any, to grab and haul off on an adventure. The solution: DIY! More of it. Because I can, because I want to, because being me rocks 😛

I took myself out to lunch today and it was fantastic. I had coffee — let me clarify, I conversed but did not consume, my friend had enough coffee for two — with a friend. I watched Outlander again, parts en Francais, rolling on the bed, laughing. I’ve caught up on groceries, dishes and laundry, played fiddle and cello and cranked my favourite playlists. I helped choreograph a pint-sized piece which turned out really cool, and honestly just about made me cry. I miss those creative-collaborative light-bulb moments — there were a lot of them back when I had near-constant canine companionship, when it would be like: Does this work? And then, Yes! Good job! Yes! You rock! We rock! Let’s do it again. I don’t have a dog with me at the moment, and I think that’s a good thing? I do have a new house guest, a Mr. Plant. But he is not very happy at the moment. If the evidence to hand ever saw the inside of a courthouse, I’m fairly sure I’d be convicted of manslaughter, but there’s still a few sprigs left and I’m hoping he will recover.

Over the weekend, I spent a good 2 hours in an absolutely divine semi-conscious state listening to tunes with headphones, and have started reading The Count of Monte Cristo. I watched an amazing series on the first humans ever to reach Australia and to balance it out 17 Again –again, which I really enjoyed 🙂

I came home today and did some self-care and space-care. Ate an Easter cookie and multiple glasses of almond milk, plus an orange, which was all super delicious. As an aside, I am working my way through the bakery downstairs… These are my favourites (which I suppose I could add to later), as I figure the not-so-favourites aren’t worth mentioning.

Fruit Tarts -5/5
Copenhagens -5/5
Brownies -6/5
Bread -5/5
Muffins -5/5
Sugar/Easter/Ginger/Shortbread cookies 5/5
Rhubarb/Apple pie 4/5 *would be best a la mode

I’ve rediscovered how versatile cinnamon is! I swear I’ve had it in my breakfast, lunch, dinner and several snacks over the past few weeks. Cherry tomatoes, lentils, limes and mushrooms and oranges, to name a few, have all been cycling rapidly through my kitchen a lot lately. And tea is the best.

There’s really nothing I don’t love, or at least like about everything that I do in a day. People might balk at laundry or dishes or cleaning house, or being alone and yeah, there are times when you just don’t want to do it. But it’s really not that horrible. I’ve been asking myself, honestly, realistically, what’s the worst that could happen? And the answers these days don’t scare me nearly as much as they used to. I’m here. I’m doing what I do. I have a say in what happens, I can take in the experience. I am free to explore and enjoy, and I do!

I’m laughing reading this. This is how my brain works on autopilot. I haven’t edited or thought about it at all. I’ve just kept writing. The other thing I’ve recently embraced is that I can’t do any of the following in a magically straight-line: writing, walking, scissors/knife wielding, shopping… Some of my friends and family read this blog, I know, because if something I post catches their interest, they might ask me for background on it, but are often a bit hazy on the details, ‘You know, that post you made the other day?’ — because entries are organized first by date, I think people tend to assume that everything here has happened in chronological order. Sorry! 🙂 I often will post recollections of things that happened days, weeks, months or years past, right next to something that has just happened. There may be composite scenarios or characters. For the most part, this blog and the content of individual posts is in fact non-linear and has no rules. Just a heads up on that!

Does anyone know when it gets dark these days? I feel like I’m still primed to get sleepy at around 5pm. But I think the sun’s up for longer than that now. I saw it today (the sun) it was wonderful. In terms of records, I have it on good authority that March 2017 had the highest number of Bounce Back referrals as well as the most rainfall EVER, in recorded history. Seriously! I hope April will bring more sunny days and mentally healthy, happy humans– I’d rather not literally drown in paperwork 🙂

–Sam

Other.

I don’t know what it is about today. It’s just different. I’m feeling exceptionally methodical, pretty calm, pretty comfy. I felt kind of removed from work today — like I could have handed it all over to AI and nobody would have minded, and yet still very valued and supported and good.

I came home, put on a sweater and made popcorn on a whim, blogged, popped in to Facebook, had a strong desire to read some trashy fiction just to laugh outrageously at various hideous typos and other flaws.

And now, I still have no idea what I want for dinner, and am once again craving tea and toast.

What’s new with you? 🙂

–Sam

Love you lots!

A big shout out to my friends and family for helping me feel exceptionally warm and fuzzy the past 7 days! Love you lots.

In the past week:

  • Went for sushi with Forrest and Ben
  • Dinner, visit and Beauty & the Beast with Rube and Jade
  • The definition of multi-tasking – whether I was successful at it, depends who you ask
  • Promo op for BB and Breakfast!
  • Fun on transit with friends — and drivers who have a wonderful sense of humour
  • Movies and day about town with Rube (Fantastic Beasts! ❤ )
  • Waffles and new Stix gear with Forrest 🙂
  • Dance x2 – cool choreography, and also some crying!!!
  • A Sunday well spent