Catalyst (1)

New collection of my thoughts, adventures and oddities.

Yesterday:

I have no wifi on this side of the library. But I can’t bring myself to pay the demands required to have a home wifi connection for 1 hour of connective content in a day.

Reading a curious composition right now, Good News for a Change, authors David Suzuki and Holly Dressel. It gives me some hope that we aren’t totally doomed to be hamsters running on wheels, or lemmings diving over cliffs… I’ve learned that the small farms produce the highest yields, that the methods used by indigenous peoples for millennia  and similar traditional, local, informed stewardship efforts have ample evidence to support their continued implementation. Being architects of our own destruction isn’t as inevitable as I thought. And sustainable practices are possible and do currently exist.

And yet, I must admit, there are so many pieces to consider it still makes my head hurt to think about it large scale.

I’m planning on perogies or stirfry for dinner.

I watched most of the Station 19 finale. Ten minutes left and it tells me my machine can’t process this content.

Im home now with my noise cancelling headphones on, listening to silence for dear life. I’ve decided in reality that there is no true impetus for me to leave my house — other than to jump in and jump out of the Kozak eatery for fresh bread and babka (still would like to try the chocolate sourdough). 

And work. Because, despite the struggles, I feel like it is a battle worth fighting.

I really miss listening to Anna Maria Tremonti host The Current on CBC. I was speechless last year when I heard she would be leaving. For more than half my life, I have heard this voice on the radio, and now I’m a little lost, haha. The radio is still a good friend of mine, however.

timed_troubles

Recently, someone on the radio, a nurse or doctor working in the hospital on the front lines during COVID-19 said that, “A day feels like a week, and a week feels like a year.” That is accurate.

I have actually seen the number of case-files for our team more than double overnight. In other news, I have successfully revived a severely depressed office plant.

I’m reading and journalling, walking and working. I’m kept busy perusing my home libraries of music and movies. I alternate between that, and the radio shows, and if stuff starts feeling repetitive, I just move from English to another language. Probably French is the one I can comprehend best, but it’s always entertaining to hear Harry Potter speak Spanish, or the weather forecast announced in Punjabi!

I’d like to indulge once humanity is on the other side of this, by having a good dinner with my family, and watching a decent movie or show with popcorn. To just be present and under no pressure, even for just a few hours. And hugs. Lots of hugs.

-Sam

soundtrack of my life

Sort of… 🙂

I’m off the clock. But work has a place to SIT DOWN, internet, and plenty of personal space for my personal use — much gratitude!!!

Everyone is thrown into problem-solving, solution generating mode as the COVID-19 outbreak has continued to evolve and impact people, processes and places on a global and grand scale.

So far I am doing well. As an introvert, and as a person who started 2020 with the goal of living on my own terms, the current recommendations to stay home feel like more of a boost to my energy than a restriction of my freedom.

However, people’s vulnerabilities are coming into greater focus and worries about income, jobs, food, housing, childcare, education, climate, infrastructure, social connections, finances, travel, health and ability to accomplish the basic necessities in new and changing circumstances are high.

Mental Health has now been included on the list of essential services here in BC, so that is good news for me, and good news for the people my team helps to support. The program is also free and delivered over the telephone, so that helps to address everyone’s concerns around health, travel and finances 🙂

Today was a very good day. I feel like I actually made a difference, without sacrificing my own well-being. It is hard some days when you see the time and energy, dedication, creativity and lifeblood being poured into the vital work people do, but without the appropriate supports or in pursuit of a goal that can only be realized in the future. All things take time. And today I used mine well.

Below is a picture of the document I created for myself and plastered on my own office wall. I can’t avoid it and I can read it. It is a self-taught crash course in what I think are the essentials I need for me to do the best I can in life and at work, and I am quite fond of it. It is here for you to enjoy 🙂

I’m off to dinner!

Hugs,

–Sam

fullsizeoutput_c0
NOTE TO SELF: the important things in life

thank you!

This week was short, just 4 days – I only did any Admin-ing on 3 of them. But it felt like forever! The long weekend was beautiful and full of good food and good friends. Tuesday was a mess, Wednesday was ridiculous, Thursday caught a glimpse of redemption, and Friday I spent making reckless decisions and trying to keep my eyes open long enough to survive training in first aid and the commute and crash into my bed.

I want to be inspired, but recently everyone including me seems to spend increasing amounts of time teetering between exhaustion and boredom. Today I feel halfway human. I’ve had a shower, a decent breakfast, walked to the library; and I have food in the house and enough brainpower to just maybe transform it into an actual meal. I needed a hug, but a free Saturday seems like a fair trade. I’m looking forward to a feast and a nap, and getting back on track.

green forest tree
Photo by Jimmy Chan on Pexels.com

Good things (10)

New year, new leaf. Much gratitude.

  • Noteworthy reads: The Library Book, An Echo in the Bone, and Split Tooth
  • Work team at full capacity and I’ve reclaimed my regular hours
  • Jan 18: Jon & Roy concert on Bowen was fantastic — especially in combination with sibs, nachos, burgers, beer and apple pie à la mode 🙂
  • Jan 22: Happily ended work early, made some excellent stir-fry and polished it off with a heavenly bowl of popcorn and a movie
  • Babka on points today!

light-hearted

I have such gratitude for the past few weeks of slowing down and enjoying the rhythm of the days: Christmas eats, beach-walks, books and movies, to name just a few of my favourite things. I hope in 2020 I can be more clear-headed and light-hearted and continue to find paths of wellness and gratitude going forward 🙂

From the film The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King:

Home is behind
the world ahead
and there are many paths to tread
Through shadow
To the edge of night
Until the stars are all alight

Mist and shadow
Cloud and shade
All shall fade
All shall
Fade

Cheers to surviving the 2010’s and stepping with confidence and inspiration into 2020.

–Sam

 

Where I went:

Those times when someone might ask: Seen any good movies lately? And everything short-circuits and I stand there looking silly… Here are 35 I came up with by putting myself on the spot, for your entertainment -and mine 🙂

staircase grayscale photography
Photo by MING-CHENG WU on Pexels.com

Charlie Wilson’s War
The Lego Batman Movie
The Biggest Little Farm
Shoplifters
The Vigilante
A Private War
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Buddy
Young Frankenstien
Antz
The Karate Kid
Becoming Astrid
The Fencer
I, Daniel Blake
The Black Panther
Wild Rose
Counterpart
The Little Prince
Million Dollar Baby
Brooklyn
If Beale Street Could Talk
Tolkien
Ice Age
A Star is Born
The Art of Racing in the Rain
A Hologram for the King
Rocket Man
Beauty and the Beast
The Snowman
Tracks
Jane
Inception
The Lion King
The Grizzlies
First Man

 

Adrift (14)

October 18: Home on solid ground

Leaving Japan on the afternoon of the 18th, we crossed the International Date Line and arrived into Vancouver International Airport bright and early around 8am on October 18th (again). The mind boggles…

Dad was there to pick us up, smiling and inquiring about breakfast (??!!). My mind stayed boggled for a good few days, adjusting back to this new reality was rather rough.

But… I made it to Japan! I crossed the Pacific Ocean on a (really) big boat! I spent an extraordinary holiday with Mom, met friends old and new, surprised a dog in the elevator, and attended an all you can eat Indian buffet in Shibuya.

The people were warm and generous, the food was amazing and the locations vibrant, inspiring and wonderful places to explore. The typhoon and turbulence added that extra, entertaining bit of unpredictability that lends well to a retelling.

Transportation on this trip ran the spectrum from foot-traffic to sea journey, trains– it was like suddenly being dropped into a real life, Japanese version of snakes and ladders — a city unto itself, planes and automobiles.

I feel like I got the best of all worlds, in an amazingly unique, diverse and compact, holiday. This is not an opportunity that everyone gets to take and I’m so happy I said “Yes.” 🙂

today’s conclusions

I have a shorthand I use in notes to myself, and right now I have several projects on the go which can be jammed into the following boxes: Laundry, Food, Self-care, Work. I am surprised to say that generally all of these, with the exception of FOOD are going well.

My head doesn’t hurt, but it is quite crowded, and I’m trying to finish strong this year — which is hard to do when the days and hours keep sneaking off or sneaking up on you and you don’t have a decent day-timer to corral them with.

Life is just rolling right along. Trying to stay current, clean, calm and well-fed is at this point in time an adventure I am happy to participate in. But I really need some groceries. And my carrying capacity this evening might just max out at popcorn and bread (essentials) and pizza (dinner) and fruit (breakfast tomorrow). Thursday will have to be the day for more extensive shopping, in combination with additional Laundry, Self-care and Work activities. I have a plan. I will make it happen.

Now we are all on the same page, yes? 🙂

Good night!

–Sam