Music as metaphor

It speaks to everyone and lets them know that they are not alone in their experiences.


silhouette of a man playing saxophone during sunset
Photo by Victor Freitas on


afterglow art backlit bokeh
Photo by luizclas on

These gifts I have received have changed my life in big, little and positive ways:

Quebec 2016

New winter coat
Sidestix w/Snowshoes!!!
Swiss Army knife
Anything horse-related: bookends, books, equestrian Barbie
Anything from the heart: cards, notes, conversations
Indigo gift cards ❤

Homemade pumpkin pie

And nights out with friends 😀
Music: fiddle, cello, singing, kitchen parties, new albums and soundtracks with great artists




I feel so incredibly privileged today and every day to get to work with some wonderful humans. Today, November 7th, Diwali was celebrated, and I felt warm all over 🙂

I also have to say that my recent relocation and reduction in technical temptations has done me a world of good so far. The light is welcomed in, not shut out and I am sleeping and eating and feeling so much better than I have been in months. I get to walk to work again, which has so far been 100% enjoyable and stress and tumble free!

Despite being away sick for 3 consecutive days last week — and I would have given almost anything to be well enough to work instead of feeling like I got crushed under 5 pianos — I was able to play some cello, drink a ton of tea, read 3 books, including The original Wizard of Oz, (which I don’t think I’d actually read before and really enjoyed). I made popcorn at all hours, had some good belly-laughs and shed a decent amount of tears watching ‘Up’ and ‘Forrest Gump’ and ‘Secretariat’. I also caught up with a few friends and family, helped Rube with a bit of her homework and got a few more housekeeping items done! Even though the energy got sucked out of me every 20 minutes, requiring another 2 hour napping period, I did not get discouraged.

Returning to work on Monday, our fearless leader, who was also taken out by a similar illness and away for the same 3 days, welcomed me heartily back to the land of the living 🙂

I’m at the library now and I think they have the air-conditioning on? It’s freezing, even with a sweater and I think I’ll have to head home now, get dinner and warm up my toes!

Change is good, talking dogs are golden, and light is more than the absence of darkness and lessening of heavy loads.

Thanks for listening,



I’m really tired, but feel like today should get credit for being a decent one. I had a Kit-Kat and a hot cup of tea for a treat at work, stayed cozy and had a really good stir fry for dinner.

I’m moving again on the weekend and really looking forward to having my own place again, and enjoying some new sights and features (Balcony!!! Elevator!!!). I don’t feel at all prepared to relocate my things. Thank goodness, I think I have even less of them than even after the original ‘downsizing’ episode. So taking what’s here to the new place shouldn’t be that scary, but still.

I’m glad I can be me, and be human. And I’m glad I can share that with others and that I’m not afraid to be alone with myself. I’m glad curiosity is not extinct and that I can recharge when and how I need to.

Thank you for the great moments today. They are appreciated.

I can hardly wait to set up shop, sleep in my own bed, get lost in books and movies and tunes and let the light shine in! Also, pancakes and level ground! Clambering out from a cupboard under the stairs up to freedom on the top floor, good things are ahead (not sure I’ll be able to avoid the 3rd floor corridor though — good thing I’m dog person, haha 🙂 ).

Oct 16th


Today was a good day. Head clear, eyes bright, stomach full, feeling strong, capable and loved.

Forrest warned me this would happen, but here is my new favourite song/album… Shrike by Hozier. It has been on a completely voluntary, endorphin pumping loop for weeks now!


where from here?

I didn’t know if I was going to make it past 1030am today. I only started work at 10am. It was an interesting day. My phone is dead, so, sorry not sorry for anybody trying to reach me.

Keeping myself housed, and happy, is on my mind. It would seem odd to go into too much detail here, because, well, there is a real world out there, and real people might actually read this, and I don’t know if I want to drag the internet through my thought process.

But, I don’t know how the world came to mean so much nonsense. People need to be housed, they need to eat, they deserve safety and happiness. How long can we tread water for? How many festering couches have to be surfed, how many pairs of shoes worn through, how many meals missed?

Jeremy Kittel and Natalie Haas are playing The Boxing Reels on YouTube and the effect on my wpm is quite remarkable.

I want to feel welcome in a space and to welcome other people in. I want my own kitchen, and a commute that doesn’t kill me. I’m researching my options and the possibilities aren’t exactly inspiring.

I’m considering co-op housing. Then, of course, there’s craigslist; want to live off-grid in your yurt, or in a literal rodent-infested closet?– or the NEWSPAPER, or dodgy mortgage calculations, which my mom noted seemed to be based ‘not on reality.’

Craigslist is where I go for a laugh now.

“No pets allowed. Dog or cat ok.” — Thanks for clearing that up. I’ll have to look at rehoming my T-Rex, then…

“Private, self-contained suite. No doors, landlords may lounge in your living room and commandeer the washer/dryer that’s located in your suite, but otherwise it’s all yours!” –Thanks, but no thanks.

Shout out to my friend Sarah for all her hard work, and brilliance. You will go far, girl! And also, to my brother and SideStix team for giving my Stix some needed TLC and me the gift of silence 😀

I’m calling it a night, and going to find some chocolate to nibble.



Hump day

Hey, so today is Wednesday. I’ve been awake since 730am. I didn’t have dinner last night. It didn’t seem necessary. I watched “Cargo” which for those interested is a zombie movie with Martin Freeman in the title role. If you know me, you probably are aware that I am not usually in the audience for this genre 🙂 Watching without popcorn, and in summer when it doesn’t get dark-dark until 1030pm makes it safer, ha!

The movie was excellent. Made me laugh to think of the time when my good friend misread one of my texts and thought I’d auditioned for and got a part in The Walking Dead. And sober at the thought that sometimes fiction is not that far from fact..

I have the day off today. I am ecstatic.

With time to kill, I watched another movie this morning, showered, blogged, listened to some Bruce Cockburn, had breakfast, packed my bags and now I’m back to blogging and listening to some more tunes. Breakfast was delicious. Later today, I’m looking forward to having some fun, some hugs and new parts for my Stix that will hopefully stay together and quiet!

My sister is not here yet.

I feel like the world sometimes is too caught up in keeping up appearances and has forgotten how to eat. I might not have a dog of my own yet, my rescue tendencies have been redirected towards victuals instead. Everybody’s like, “Are you going to eat that? Now?” and usually my answer is yes.

And this is where I leave you.


Tuesday and holding

*Blue whales’ hearts are the size of a small car and the arteries are large enough for a small child to crawl through.

*Listening to Radical Face “Welcome Home Son”, Buena Vista Social Club…

*I’m so tired. So tired of making space for everyone else. I’ve gone so far as to write myself a note about the current planet I’m residing on — top of the list is an admonishment, “Don’t touch.”

*A few weeks ago, we had the beauty of an unplanned dinner with Grandma. Apprehension not withstanding, it was a very happy occasion. I laughed a lot, Grandma smiled, everyone was relaxed, it all came together. We ordered Chinese. My fortune cookie was as follows, “There is a tendency to take things too far.”

Apparently, looking at it from the bright side, that describes me all too well 😀

I’ve had to get smaller in order to fit into this niche I’ve signed myself up for and not yet got the energy to sign myself out of.

In the past I reorganized 5 small items and it did not go over well. More recently, I went flying down the hill to catch the bus and ripped my thumb open, watched a surprising amount of blood carve a path through the tiny but treacherous textures of the pavement. And last week, heading down to catch the bus yet again but at a much more reasonable speed, I snagged myself and landed ass-first on the same section of pavement and now have a beautiful rainbow coloured butt to prove it. Stairs are also more fun than ever.

*I knew I was a hands-on person, but I didn’t realize how distressing not having anything to hang on to could be.

*I finally watched The Hobbit Trilogy. It was epic 🙂

*All I want is some peanut butter toast and some clean air to breathe. But to get to the toast I have to go up the stairs, and the neighbours are busy bleaching things and painting things, so the air is far from clear.

~The End~