thank you!

This week was short, just 4 days – I only did any Admin-ing on 3 of them. But it felt like forever! The long weekend was beautiful and full of good food and good friends. Tuesday was a mess, Wednesday was ridiculous, Thursday caught a glimpse of redemption, and Friday I spent making reckless decisions and trying to keep my eyes open long enough to survive training in first aid and the commute and crash into my bed.

I want to be inspired, but recently everyone including me seems to spend increasing amounts of time teetering between exhaustion and boredom. Today I feel halfway human. I’ve had a shower, a decent breakfast, walked to the library; and I have food in the house and enough brainpower to just maybe transform it into an actual meal. I needed a hug, but a free Saturday seems like a fair trade. I’m looking forward to a feast and a nap, and getting back on track.

green forest tree
Photo by Jimmy Chan on Pexels.com

so far, so good

From Nov 16:

Woke up before 8 and had a big bowl of apple-cinnamon oatmeal. Hit the street and meandered through Renaissance books, the thrift shop, farmers market, Everyday Japan and am now parked at the library.

Days like this are the best ones, when I’m prepped for the rain and wind, out walking, painting my own lines of exploration through the park, side-streets, nooks and brilliant fall colours. The mud squishes comfortably, rain falling steadily, and that enchanting sound of trespassing on a blanket of autumn leaves.

The library is one of my favourite places. But this bookshop takes everything I love about reading to an entirely new level. Finding myself in such a cozy, happy place filled with books, I could not bring myself to simply turn and walk away empty-handed.

‘Very good choices,’ the human behind the counter said, with a warm smile. ‘Come back soon for more’ — I’m certain we will be seeing more of each other. Dangerous places, bookshops. I’m glad my backpack is a small one, and today is Saturday, otherwise, the temptation to gather volume after volume might get overwhelming and it’s possible someone would notice my having disappeared here for half the afternoon 😀

 

Coastlife

Home to the Coast this past weekend: brews and nachos, hot chocolate and hugs, yoga and spaghetti, the beach, the best. But seeing Gospel Rock wiped flat for future development made my heart ache, and for the first time in more than 20 years, no furry face was home to say hello or goodbye.

This is the place where I grew up. The place where my family is, where they continue to live and work and play. Others — transient populations or persons, or someone else –might have a different view entirely, but I feel my roots are here and that that experience has value. It’s not a summer get-away, or a place I feel ‘stuck’. It is more than a list of pros and cons, views and real-estate. There is a vibrance and a uniqueness to life on the Coast that I miss fiercely sometimes.

The city is always in such a hurry — and always there seems to be comparison and contrasts made between urban and rural communities. But the character of a place goes deeper than that, and I think in today’s world, taking the time to appreciate what is below the surface is both harder and more necessary than any time before.

Breakfast rules!

pancakes with blueberries on black plae
Photo by NastyaSensei Sens on Pexels.com

The general sentiment seems to be that the generation of today spends too much time absorbed in their screens, posting about breakfast and avocado toast. However, I did take a significant hiatus from the web, and now that I’ve reappeared here, I just have to tell you about the best part of the past few days which includes…. PANCAKES FOR BREAKFAST, and AVOCADO TOAST!

I did manage to work a few regular hours, do some laundry, find some new tunes, do a bit of banking, exploring, and ice-cream eating over the past few weeks. This is all excellent, but if I told you I wasn’t exhausted, I would be lying. The avocado toast Friday afternoon is all that kept me from descending into complete incoherence 🙂

Thus, when I woke up after 9am this morning, made a pile of blueberry super pancakes, had a fresh nectarine and a cup of chai for breakfast before chatting with Mom on the phone, I was ecstatic.

Enjoy the weekend, friends.

Day 4

This morning I had the luxury of a sleep-in, made breakfast, dressed, did a bit of yoga and headed out the door. Work was a hive of activity. I came to the library afterwards to grab a few DVDs and just enjoy the space. Plans for the weekend include a handful of tasks around communications, and lots of self-care.

Some stuff still on my mind, but my head doesn’t feel like it’s going to fall off, so it’s been a good day 😀

 

breathing room

The gratitude I feel for this extended weekend is bone-deep.

In as much as I can have no agenda, I’ve managed to make it this far into the day without beating myself up. It’s also sunny and I have the whole day to enjoy it and soak up some light and vitamin D which is super and a nice alternative to deprivation and desperation that I seem to be taking rather hard lately. As gatekeeper/Admin. it’s an occupational hazard.

As I’ve noticed and shared recently (at its most intense, nearly a month to the day), people are not doing so well; they are seeking appropriate help, which is good, admirable, and so important. But holding space for each person and practicing my own self-care has proven to be a challenge.

I took myself out this afternoon, had an omelette, a coffee, a change of scenery.

Remembering to eat, tidying up, reading, yoga, tunes and most especially laundry, these are the items on my to do list for Good Friday, Saturday, Easter Sunday and Easter Monday.

I’m taking it one step at a time and that’s all I can do and all I can say.

–Sam

 

 

 

 

more miles to the road (2)

Mom came for a visit on Family Day which was awesome 🙂

We had a good chat about all the latest, caught up on various familial threads, walked a couple of kilometres, grabbed some groceries and seized the day! We had breakfast for dinner at The Waffle House and it was so freaking satisfying.

Thanks, Mom ❤

 

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Rewinding in 2019:

I came home from the library with an armful of entertainment recently, consisting of the following films: The Great Gatsby, Wonder, The Godfather, Roman J Israel, Esq., and The Jungle Book.

Wonder made me cry. Gatsby was captivating, Denzel as Roman J Israel, Esq., was unrecognizable and thoroughly compelling — I would have watched it over again, but had to return it promptly or risk losing more money from my ‘laundry’ jar to the library for overdue loans. The Godfather I grabbed out of curiosity and to prepare myself for the next time Ruby tosses a choice quote into the conversation — it’s a work in progress. I had tried watching The Jungle Book several times since it’s release and could not manage to enjoy it; I wanted to try again. This time, I ran with the pack 🙂

In all, the time I spent as an audience member was a wonderful hiatus from reality, with much popcorn and many blankets ❤

–Sam