Tuesday and holding

*Blue whales’ hearts are the size of a small car and the arteries are large enough for a small child to crawl through.

*Listening to Radical Face “Welcome Home Son”, Buena Vista Social Club…

*I’m so tired. So tired of making space for everyone else. I’ve gone so far as to write myself a note about the current planet I’m residing on — top of the list is an admonishment, “Don’t touch.”

*A few weeks ago, we had the beauty of an unplanned dinner with Grandma. Apprehension not withstanding, it was a very happy occasion. I laughed a lot, Grandma smiled, everyone was relaxed, it all came together. We ordered Chinese. My fortune cookie was as follows, “There is a tendency to take things too far.”

Apparently, looking at it from the bright side, that describes me all too well 😀

I’ve had to get smaller in order to fit into this niche I’ve signed myself up for and not yet got the energy to sign myself out of.

In the past I reorganized 5 small items and it did not go over well. More recently, I went flying down the hill to catch the bus and ripped my thumb open, watched a surprising amount of blood carve a path through the tiny but treacherous textures of the pavement. And last week, heading down to catch the bus yet again but at a much more reasonable speed, I snagged myself and landed ass-first on the same section of pavement and now have a beautiful rainbow coloured butt to prove it. Stairs are also more fun than ever.

*I knew I was a hands-on person, but I didn’t realize how distressing not having anything to hang on to could be.

*I finally watched The Hobbit Trilogy. It was epic 🙂

*All I want is some peanut butter toast and some clean air to breathe. But to get to the toast I have to go up the stairs, and the neighbours are busy bleaching things and painting things, so the air is far from clear.

~The End~

 

 

 

 

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Decompression sessions

It takes as long as it takes. That has been the principle I have been following for the past several weeks. Some people aren’t happy about it (sometimes I’m included in that reference) but it is beginning to show results. As the wonderful magnet on my fridge states: Good things come to those who work their asses off 🙂

I took some time Feb 21-25 away from the office to attend a conference in Sudbury, Ontario — more on that later — which was a fantastic experience, but by no means ‘time off’ and I’m still digesting everything that occurred then.

Laundry and a round-table with my connections is next on the list.

Work was so busy today, I forgot to take lunch, though I did manage to inhale my PB and banana sandwich during one 15 minute coffee break. It’s nice to be back in my own space, my own bed, on my own schedule.

Things continue to fall into place.

I’ve played some cello, am writing again, made plans with some incredible human beings, my headphones are back in business and I’m re-reading The Hobbit for the umpteenth time.

My housemate and I are on good terms. I’m earning my keep by remembering passwords, sparking conversation and helping polish off squares of home-cooked lasagna 🙂 Life is good!

 

 

Making all the difference

Some of the good things that happened today…

  • Didn’t have to wake up early; it was not a requirement.
  • Have the cold beat: “Thag you berry buch” (The Hobbit)
  • Ate chocolate with pretzels, and chai tea at the quirky cafe down the street and watched the rain fall.
  • Bought groceries and was surprised to find my bag emptied and re-packed neatly by the cashier, treating everyone with a genuine warmth and ease that is so hard to see sometimes — it made my day.
  • I managed one load of laundry and one of recycling.
  • Made it to the bank, changed some change and left feeling so wonderfully featherlight. No idea how I lasted that long!
  • All of my books are sorted, and my “Documents” are coming close to being in a similar state also.
  • I wanted granola and milk. I bought granola and milk; and I ate it and it was fantastic!
  • Talked with Rube and planned an adventure, unencumbered.
  • Cut my nails, stayed dry and halfway calm for at least 48hrs.
  • Caught up with friends; it was the best.
  • New favourite song on repeat

Tomorrow holds many possibilities,

–Sam

Immersion

via Daily Prompt: Glitter

The level of comfort and inspiration and joy I get from reading can not be overstated. JRR Tolkien is one of my most favourite authors. And this poem immediately came to mind on reading the prompt today — I’ve decided to start another month-long venture, so here goes!

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
–JRR Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Thanks for stopping by 🙂 Feel free to comment below. Happy reading!

–Sam

Uncategorized

On paper: it looks good, and it feels good, too. I’m talking about my notebook(s). Sometimes I am compelled to put actual pen to actual paper, because if I didn’t ideas and thoughts and emotions and tasks and research and knowledge would just keep battering my skull, hell-bent on escape. I simply must do it, or waffle for ages. I should get a really awesome combo for committing the ones that are vital, and not just for groceries, etc. The dollar store version will suffice, but it’s high time for an upgrade and this weekend, I’m going shopping!

The one we just had, was going to be the one where I went shopping solo for an assortment of items. But I didn’t, I hung out with my sister and played piano in the sun instead, which was awesome 🙂 I also watched The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (at home, with popcorn) for the second time, which was just the best! I loved it and that’s all I can say ❤

Any ways, today has been a whirlwind. I’ve 2 concerns, which are not big ones, but ones that will just not go away, with no easy solutions that have yet come to mind. It’s like that 1 mosquito in your tent that manages to squeak in just before you fall asleep, “Neeeeeee… Neeeee…” It’s bloodly, freakin’ annoying!!! And just as difficult to catch. I’m looking forward to the satisfying “Clap” and good night’s sleep, distaste over blood and tiny dead bodies notwithstanding.

I’ve gotta go. The Desolation of Smaug is waiting 🙂

 

 

Fragile piece

I didn’t post yesterday, because I fell asleep on my bed half undressed, and when I woke up, it was today. So here comes some retrospection.

I dreamed of chipped china and snarling dogs and death by a thousand papercuts, trapped in the mailroom, followed by dozens of blind eyes. It was unpleasant. And I thought it was real, which was even more unpleasant, like why did I break that teapot? And why is there blood on my hands? Wait! It’s not mine — the teapot or the blood. Wake up!

Would that I could dream something beautiful, just to break up the weirdness. How about some puppies, or wild horses or something where I collapse into paradoxyms of mirth, or go on an epic adventure among friends?

Listening to The Fellowship and Return of the King Finale by Howard Shore always gives me goosebumps. The whole trilogy’s soundtrack gives me goosebumps, actually. I walked home singing Tolkien’s A Walking Song —from TRotK– thinking “I’ve got pizza, chocolate and it’s Friday night, does it get any better?!”

Time doesn’t heal everything, but it can give you a new perspective. Stuff that had me literally shaking in my boots a few weeks ago no longer seems so terrifying. It seems wrong-headed and selfish, but I’ve been finding that removal can work wonders. Back to basics!

Looking forward to tea for two tomorrow, and some book browsing and binge watching – because the library has all 3 Hobbit films 😀

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*In response to the daily prompt Sept 16 (Fragile)

Unguarded

I often feel guilty for talking about what interests me, for speaking my mind and for staying in my comfort zone. But it was so good to be able to spend the day with Dad, and do just that, even if it wasn’t all super interesting or well-scripted. To laugh at stupid jokes and quote The Hobbit, find unknown dots on maps and get random national trivia off the CIA. Eat tuna melts, have a bowl of soup and overindulge at dinner. To be comfy-cozy and snug, watching the rain fall and to be embraced in a hug.

Thanks, Dad 🙂

Saga

Daily Prompt: Attempt #2 (Saga)

I heard it said once that for an artist to be happy is a kind of self-sabotage, because all the great tales and songs and sagas hinge on struggle and sacrifice and turmoil, and if you get to a place in life where you are happy and thriving, well then, what is there to make of that; to paint, to sing, to film, to write, to sculpt or draw?

And I can neither agree nor disagree. I’ve had plenty of stories to tell in my life. And more than a few told to me. Some sad, some humorous. Some epic and some short. All I can say is that I love a good story, whether it’s about my dog hoovering bits of rubber off the floor of the garage, or a boy-wizard, or treacherous dragon… a hair-raising account of battling an unknown illness, or of a near-death experience or fateful turn of events…I will take them in whatever form they are presented and give myself over to the world of their creator.

I’m reading again, finally. And I’m halfway through 1400 pages of historical fiction, the fifth book in a series of nine. And it’s going well; I’m hooked. And I’m at a place in life where I’m happy and thriving, where I can laugh and sing and go out on a whim. Or stay in and drink tea and read. Or cruise around the web, or pull out my fiddle and play. I can prep and eat the food that I want and spend the day as I like. And I try not to take anything too seriously any more — though that doesn’t always go according to plan.

Today is the long weekend. And I’ve been asked three times in 30 minutes: “What are you doing today?” And my answer is, “Nothing.” And I feel I’ve earned it. I’ve half a mind to stay in my pajamas all day and drink tea- and write, here. Turn on the tunes and do some dishes and see what I can find on Youtube for entertainment. I revel in doing “nothing.” It is sometimes so much more effective at making one whole again than the push to do “something” which leaves emptiness inside.

I had the best day yesterday, eating good food, staying warm, sleeping, reading and watching films. Had a few laughs with friends, stayed up late and got unwound after a very hectic few weeks. And today, all I want is to replay it with tea.

 

 

There and back again…

A hobbit’s tale 🙂 Such a great story!

I could be a hobbit. I am short. I have brown curly hair. And I love food 🙂

Today has been a loooong, but reasonably productive day.

A more truthful post title would have been “Comfy to Crazy and Back Again” (x2) LOL.

Looking forward to a good night’s sleep and getting back at it tomorrow.

Just want to keep my readers well informed!

The weather was/is beautiful today/this evening by the way.

Later alligators 🙂