hunter-gather

Fall is my season. Especially after this summer. I’m not sure there was a day in there where I was not profusely perspiring. It was bloody hot. Hello climate change.

The world seems a bit less frantic in fall. Spring, everybody is hopeful and full of energy. Summer everyone is running around trying to get everything done while the sun shines. Winter and everyone gets tired of the dark and the snow and the rain. But fall is just a vibrant little season merging out of the fast lane, full of comfort foods and plans for cozy hibernations, and that is why I enjoy it so much.

I like being inside watching the sun’s light fade, hearing the rain fall, making some curry for dinner and curling up with my book(s), or a movie(s), or making some music. In the past 2 weeks, I’ve already started making a dent on my music, literary and film libraries, watched a few sunsets, made a grown up blanket fort, and have broken out the canned goods, soups and teas!

Listening to Bruce Cockburn’s album, Nothing but a Burning light, I had a vision of home on Malaview. Mom and Dad, my sister and brother, the two dogs, all of us home at the end of the day after work and school and soccer practice. It was dark and raining outside, Mom had made fajitas, the lights were soft, music playing from the stereo in the living room. We were hungry, happy and in that satisfying state of being just wet and dirty enough to know the outdoors have been throughly enjoyed and explored! And just coming together as a family for dinner. The atmosphere is one of absolute comfort, the food smells (and tastes) amazing. It popped into my head like a little movie and definitely made me smile.

>The last few days, it’s like I’ve been breathing in clouds of smoke and now in being provided with real oxygen, can actually breathe easy again. I need to find ways to get myself some more oxygen.

Looking forward to an honest to goodness holiday which begins in a few days. Really hoping to do quite a lot of eating, sleeping, visiting, exploring and enjoying of everything. Mom and I are off to Japan! Eeek!!

That’s the latest and greatest,

Hugs.

–Sam

 

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seed+sprout+harvest

My garden may be minute, at only four containers, but I love it to bits! It reminds me that nothing happens overnight; it smells of good dirt; and the greenery and oxygen and growing things make me happy. All they ask of me is that I provide them with some time in the sun and a drink of water; there is no waste, no guilt, no noise, no financial considerations, no behavioral interventions or maintenance needing to be carried out. I think I’ll name one Bilbo and the other Fergus 🙂 Maybe Sergeant, too. And Slim? Haha!

More on all that later…

**Sergeant Pepper; Basil at a single stem and still surviving; Bilbo grows bolder; Fergus is minus a limb and still going strong.

#plants #naming #sammyseedlings #jungleinprogress #4finefriends #books #fun #music

 

Good things (8)

silhouette photography of birds in flight and perched on electricity line
Photo by Elizabeth Tr. Armstrong on Pexels.com

AKA: Warts and All

I am still here, scarred, but still here. I feel that jubilant is a possibility — but still a ways off at the moment.

~

I realize how much I carry around in my head, how much worry is bubbling just below the surface. Still, I have a few key things I’d like support on, so hopefully, I don’t make a fool of myself and create a bloody tidal wave.

~

Some changes coming to the team next month and I am looking forward to the chance to look at the work we do with fresh eyes. #mentalhealthatwork

(I wrote that in April or March of this year, and now we are coming up on August with nothing to show for it but more Worry and Stress)*

>Don’t fret, I debriefed with my team, I’ve documented the details, I’ve penned a fantastic letter and maybe, just maybe, the proverbial bullet-hole will finally get more than a proverbial bandaid.

~

And, laugh if you can, cry if you must — because the body of this was sketched around 4 months ago, and reality hasn’t shifted much — maybe I’m getting more resilient, and then again, sometimes I wonder why we now shoulder the expectation that we SHOULD be more resilient– like everyone is supposed to aspire to be bullet-proof, instead of just a decent, healthy, happy, human being. We shouldn’t have to be 110% perfect, 110% of the time.

Day 4

This morning I had the luxury of a sleep-in, made breakfast, dressed, did a bit of yoga and headed out the door. Work was a hive of activity. I came to the library afterwards to grab a few DVDs and just enjoy the space. Plans for the weekend include a handful of tasks around communications, and lots of self-care.

Some stuff still on my mind, but my head doesn’t feel like it’s going to fall off, so it’s been a good day 😀

 

Victoria BB

Early May last year, our team took a few Pro-D days and headed to Victoria, BC. My memories of this time are good ones. 3 days of sunshine, walks by the ocean, bouncing around on a big bed in the hotel room I had all to myself.

We heard some excellent presentations from the professional members of our team, Dr. Chris Williams who pioneered the Bounce Back program, and clinical consultants, learning about the youth of today and their struggles with anxiety and depression in this 24/7 world we now live in…

The food was superb: breakfast, lunch, dinner and drinks and snacks ready to eat every time you even considered that you might possibly be a smidge hungry.

I learned so much and enjoyed so much and loved the chance to get to see everyone in person and engage in real conversation in real time instead of the usual chats over phone or email.

This year, the gathering is proposed for sometime in the fall, and I hope it meets with the same kind of success as the one held in Victoria, 2018 🙂

good things (5)

My head is a mess right now. You will see evidence of that later. I’ve spent the last 3 hours considering my own content and the last 15 minutes determined to focus on the positive for the next few posts.

So… Maysome surprised the team with a heavenly stash of Häagen-Dazs ice-cream bars and I wasn’t the only one who thought she should receive top honours for services to humanity. The office was wonderfully sweaty, and the ice-cream definitely boosted morale 🙂

Pages turned (2)

I woke feeling blissful and not quite awake, grabbed a piece of pb toast, read my book and fell back asleep for a few more hours. 

I’ve finally found a story to inhabit again. I read Because of Winn Dixie in one afternoon and watched it brought to life on screen in the evening. The Tiger’s Wife seems full of promise.

Lunch I suppose was oatmeal and fruit salad. Dinner I’ve accomplished already… imagine that, not even 5pm and the kitchen’s seen more activity and from-scratch concocting today than all of last week combined.

I spent the day under the radar: cleaned up, talked with Mom, which made me happy — and read some more.