more miles to the road (7)

Humanity is the spice of life! But honestly, guys! Where did all the genuine human beans get to? I’d like to meet a few, carry on a real conversation, have some fun, be in the same room, for more than 20 minutes every few months.

~

I mean, all of this wonderful, terrible and everything-inbetween stuff happens all the time, and I have almost nobody to share it with. Everyone seems too busy, or too tired, or just not interested in stuff I find captivating: dogs, books, food, people watching, movies/music, housing, voting, common sense/life-skills, exploration/adventure, mindfulness, mental health, science/climate change, current events, community & friendship.

>Had a great conversation with a friend about life in general, books, movies and food last week. (And also a movie and sushi with Forrest and Rube 🙂 ❤ )

>I went to the Passport Office recently and was anxious enough that I got nauseaous and gave myself a real, live, headache. I wanted to cry and disappear, but instead I problem-solved, tried my hardest to be grown up and sensible and spent a good 3 hours recharging at the library. (Fill out the application, drop it off, it’s that simple; well, it is and it isn’t! I did it, but it wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns).

>The fire alarm went off at 4am on Monday, and boy was that an adrenaline rush! Was not impressed with the collective response, though I thought I was decently prepared myself: dressed at least, all the essentials, timely evacuation and communication with others. Recharged by star-gazing and eating peanut butter toast, watching Beasts of the Southern Wild, followed by a very early breakfast at the Waffle House and off to work by 9am.

>Listening to an elderly couple ordering breakfast was hilarious:

wife: “I’ll have the Special, and he will have the same thing but without the bacon. No bacon.”
husband: “I’ll have the one with the bacon.”
wife: (muttering)
husband: (adjusts hearing aid) “What?! No bacon? I want the one with the bacon!”

>Ironically, that evening, I conversed with a fellow transit traveler for a good 30 minutes about the neighbourhood and conversations with strangers, emergency response observations and shared experiences around vanishing shared spaces and meaningful connections. It was wonderful! 🙂

>Usually, it turns out that people I meet out in the world turn a blind eye, or are really excellent at making me really uncomfortable so that I end things and go home. Right now, there’s a highly intoxicated, talkative, possibly homeless, mentally ill person muttering and wandering the library, who everyone including me is pretending is invisible. They aren’t hurting anyone, but they are disruptive and nobody has any good ideas. This library has a security person, and he did just now engage with the individual appropriately and ask them to lower their voice, which is better than nothing. But what other options are there? People are people, not hot potatoes to be passed from place to place and resource to resource without ever finding the right supports.

So often I want very much to trade stories of the day with friends/family, get so that each of us feels connected and supported. But so often I feel so far removed. Sometimes I write it down instead (today) and sometimes I engage and use the space and speak with people in person or via phone. However, the library vibe is no longer conducive to writing at the present moment and I’ve come to the end of my retelling, so I am packing it in.

Looking back, it’s been a bumpy week, but overall a good one — though it is only Tuesday!

Make time for the people you love. Take care of yourself. Be well. 🙂

Thanks for reading.

–Sam

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