via Daily Prompt: Memorize
You know that saying: An elephant never forgets?
I feel like that elephant. My memory is for lack of a better word, sharp. Mostly in terms of situations, melodies, feelings and random bits of info that only the smallest segment of humanity will ever care about or have a use for, as opposed to numbers or data or something more academic.
I’m actually getting better at dismissing, or divesting, which is progress when one considers how much we invest in life and the meaning we infuse into things, without knowing the true cost. I have lots of material and inspiration, plenty of brain power and capability, but perhaps a rather limited number of ways to celebrate the results.
I’m sure I’ll figure it out eventually.
Yesterday was rough. It was a real trial to make it through to 4 o’clock. And I wanted to bitch about it to somebody, and I had nobody, which sucked.
Also, to add insult to injury, I told somebody about it — after trying to patch together a conversation — it was a valiant effort, let me tell you — I said, “Sorry, I’m not feeling 100% today.” And instead of a show of support/sympathy using phrasing like “That’s a bummer,” or “Hope you feel better soon!” they were like,
couldn’t care less “Yeah, I can tell. Anyway, I have to get back to my inbox.”
It hurt a little bit.
After all the effort and genuine interest I take in your well-being and that of others, after all the griping about how so-and-so left you in the lurch or your coffee was so terrible or your head is fit to split… I wasn’t going to launch into some TMI episode, I just wanted to feel supported.
Request denied. Sorry, not sorry.
So, then I went home and ate ice-cream and felt better. It was far and above the best part of my day. That, and rearranging my library and talking with my brother.
Edit: Fun fact — there was an entire paving crew smack dab outside my window from 10pm-2am doing road work full tilt, making the windows rattle among the usual sirens of first responders, combined with temperature readings in the 30s, and a concoction of noxious fumes (read hot tar, wildfire and marijuana smoke). It was icky and shut-eye was hard to come by. And until now I’d forgotten it was possible to be this tired.
If someone’s feeling crummy, show/tell them you care though, please. It makes a bigger difference than you know.
via Daily Prompt: Enamored
Simplicity. Fun. Sunshine. Peanut butter. These are the things I am enamoured with right now. But love is definitely in the air. Every time I turn around there’s another melee of emotion happening.
I think I’ll quit while I’m still reasonably far ahead and go for a jaunt around the neighbourhood.
Stay true to yourself and the rest will follow! 🙂
via Daily Prompt: Magnetic
I don’t know much about magnets or gravity. But my bed is calling to me and if I make it there before I hit the floor, gravity will ultimately win the day and pull my limbs and eyelids down for what feels like could be a very long time. I’ve incurred some sleep debt, let’s just say.
via Daily Prompt: Homage
I couldn’t think of anything to write for this post/prompt at first.
There is however, a fantastic little episode from Outlander’s first season “The Gathering” which brings vividly to life the formal occasion where tenants and kinsmen pay homage to Column Mackenzie, chieftain of the Mackenzie clan.
Recommended, and that’s all I’m gonna say! 🙂
via Daily Prompt: Dignify
I was walking home from work the other day and had a comical moment. Someone came up behind me and I stopped to let them pass. “You are amazing!” they exclaimed, and then disappeared around the corner.
If I’m amazing for literally just standing on the side of the road, then the bar is set pretty low. Made me laugh though — it’s nice to get positive feedback once in a while, and in genuine, short form rather than some protracted affair where failed attempts at conversion congregate in front of an audience.
And I do say no. I do walk away. Or steer the conversation in another direction. But it can be exhausting sometimes. At the ferry terminal last weekend, it was a head on collision with Christianity. “We’re Christians! And we’re praying for people. Can we pray for you?” I was so tired I thought they said “We’re Christians! And we’re pranking people. Can we prank you?” We’ll that’s not something you hear everyday, I thought. “Umm…” And Rube jumps in with “No, sorry. We gotta go.” Thank goodness.
In conclusion, let me say this: Please, I don’t need saving. Just give me some space. I don’t want to be your good deed for the day. I have my own convictions. I don’t push them on people. I don’t have an agenda. Understand that I can’t always share your enthusiasm or relate to your experience.
Related reading: Forced Intimacy: An Ableist Norm
Mia Mingus skillfully illustrates some of the invisible barriers that exist for the disabled (and I would argue, anyone perceived as different) living in the world today.
via Daily Prompt: Inhabit
I’ve found my happy place. And now I just need to work on trimming the fat and chewing the fat, as they say — whoever they are 🙂
I don’t want to hide things, I want to give them a home instead. And right now, a few things are still in hiding, without a home. As much as I am not a clutter-bug, still there are spaces that could do more, better.
I’m looking forward to seeing it come together.
via Daily Prompt: Synchronize
I like to be able to do something, start to finish without interruption. It is how I work best. As a result, the current obsession of today’s world with being connected all the time, synchronized across platforms and devices and time-zones, and being notified every 2 seconds on everything from the status of a friend’s avocado toast to the latest humanitarian crisis can drive me a little crazy. Rather than throw everything out the window, I tend to just turn everything off and open a book.
The only things I’ve done this morning are read, eat and type. My playlist is on a loop and and it’s sunny and perfect 🙂
via Daily Prompt: Visceral
It has been a while since I’ve been out of the moment and looked more than a week into the future and smiled to think about it. Like really smiled; bouncy feet, sparkly eyes, see my teeth smiled.
Things may be scattered, but I know what I want, and what’s important to me, and that’s in order. I am connected with and supported by some fantastic human beings. And I am ready for this change. My gut tells me this will be good, even if my mind is still absorbed in dozens of conversations and calculations.