via Daily Prompt: Doubt
I had some major self-doubt on Saturday at dance. I was feeling the pressure to do more, be more, somehow speed my evolution as a dancer forward a few decades and make something effortlessly beautiful and it was kinda brutal.
Visions clashed, to say the least. Everybody, I think was a little too tired and more than a little frustrated. Do it like this. Move your body. And one comment about how various equipment (wheelchair/crutches etc.) was really just about getting from A to B.
And that did it. Someone could have easily been kicked all the way into next week 😛
Yes, for the typical dancer, they might be fun props. For someone who has been studying dance since they were small, movement might come effortlessly. I am neither. I am atypical and we, the atypical dancers in this mini-group, are outnumbered by the typical. Some things just don’t translate smoothly across.
I view my crutches as an extension of myself. It is not just about getting from A-B. In most situations, my Stix enable me to get from A-B, and do so much more, quickly and easily — and I have a lot of fun doing it. Though it doesn’t look like how everyone else does it, I’m cool with that. I honestly still find it funny when people ask why I am lame/walk with a limp. I understand the definitions, and that they apply to me in principle. But, I just walk how I walk. I’m just me. I don’t refer to myself as the ‘little lame girl’ though others sometimes do (Dad in jest, others in all seriousness).
I wanted to reply, ‘Alrighty, then! Really, all your legs are good for is getting you from A-B. You don’t really need them for dancing. You’ve got the rest of your body for that, so hand ’em over!’ Have you tried living and dancing on crutches or in a chair? Our equipment is not an accessory, and using it, relying on it changes the way you see the world and how you move in it.
We shall see what this Saturday brings.
Signing off and wishing you all the best,
–The Whirling Dervish 🙂