Today was crummy.
I should have listened to my instincts, my brain firing off all sorts of quiet ‘Alert! Alert! Warning! Warning! Low battery, crash imminent’ messages. I voiced the thought, “Maybe I should stay home,” immediately on opening my eyes this morning.
But, I made the effort. Went to work for a few hours and made a few dozen calls, condensed my day down into one small slice of what normally occurs, before calling it quits and heading home to die. And by die, I mean crash on the couch under a big blanket with lots of pillows and for a few hours, give in to the overwhelming urge to sleep, ignore any and all filth and catch up on some documentary viewing.
Then I showered and changed and set about the curious business of getting everything back in order. I’m sure that anyone watching would be like, “Where is this going? How is this helping?” But if the pattern is not discernible to the outside eye, it makes perfect sense to me.
While I don’t have the energy now — hardly ever, to explain my brain as I know it, the words and works of author Diana Gabaldon hit very close to home for me, when she offered a detailed written account of how her brain makes connections, gathers facts and creates characters and stories. She likened the process to viewing a kaleidoscope, where small pieces fall into place and form patterns, that change depending on how you rotate the instrument.
It’s not been all bad, but I swear, this week has been the longest 4-day week of my life so far — and it’s not even over yet! I need a hug. And sleep.