Monthly Archives: January 2017

Basic level

I don’t have a clue about some things, and that scares me a bit.

But tuning in to myself is so rewarding. To just trust that everything will be ok and just listen to what I am asking for, and making that a reality if it’s a peanut butter sandwich or a day around town or a hug or downtime, to be serious or silly, explore or stay on the familiar routes.

And it is so cathartic to hear and speak the small truths in a day, to share a moment of connectedness whether spiritual, physical or otherwise and just focus on that one person or thing, idea or feeling. I feel I’m on top of the world.

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Today, I sang in the shower and then sat on the floor and took photos. I ate cheesecake and walked back from Grandma’s in late afternoon to find my cousin on the corner. We hugged and I was treated to a bright-eyed-drive-by edition of ‘Happy Birthday’ which was just so perfect.

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I came home, found my missing dvd (I won’t even bother telling you how ridiculously anxious I was on discovering it missing, and how happy I was to have recovered it from, where else? The shelf where I keep my slim collection, *palm to forehead*) and my new favourite tune.

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Happy Birthday, too, to this wonderful being who means the world to me, and thank you to my friends and family for leaving me in no doubt that I am loved in all ways big and small 🙂

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Neither here, nor there

Today was all over the place.

Had a good breakfast, showered, tidied. Watched some Planet Earth. Had a nap, took a walk, grabbed a snack. Read my book. Etc. Etc. Yada, yada, yada.

The film Alice: Through the Looking Glass was really good. The book My Secret Sister was decent, if a bit bizarre, which sounds funny considering this paragraph’s first sentence… I was really looking forward to seeing A Dog’s Purpose brought to life on screen, but with the new animal abuse allegations, the anticipation has crashed.

I keep trying to make myself like coffee and coffee shops. But I just don’t. I really do not. And I don’t think that’s going to change. Beans does have really good cinnamon buns, though. I like having Que Pasa chips and refried beans at home better however.

The world is too much for me today. Honestly, I’m exhausted. I’m in a fog. I guess that’s the best way to describe it, or achey-breakey. I’m hot and cold and just a little woozy. I don’t feel well at all. I feel like a bug who’s hit the windshield with the wipers going in the pouring rain.

I’m very like my father.

At dance yesterday, I got the world’s worst handshake and a really nice hug.

And, last but definitely not least, a big shout out to the 200 of you that have taken an interest in what goes on these pages over 460 posts! That’s pretty amazing!

All the best,

–Sam

 

Touching base

I had dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner. It was great. I love food.

I need to focus back on myself, because the world is getting a little too noisy. Tea, cello, dance and books are on my list.

Monday’s dinner with M+D was delicious 🙂 The milkshake was… wow! And I’m so happy my dog is clean and happy — and so handsome with his new hair cut and bow-tie ❤

I’m off to popcorn and a movie.

TTYL,

–Sam

 

Borderline

I got so much done today– I was on ultimate autopilot.

I had some fun, cleaned my space, listened to some tunes, talked to Grandma, had some great eats, did laundry, read, danced, sang and saw the sun! I actually watched it come up — not hard to do these days, being that it rises around 8am. It was quite the show, and the heat was oh, so, so welcome! It’s like a hug from the universe, and there’s no better way to start your morning. I hit the ground running!

Listened to Tove Stryke’s Borderline on a loop today and just kept going! 🙂

Looking forward to seeing Mom and Dad tomorrow, pushing some projects forward and seeing Rube again to go over some tunes this week. Stoked!

Talk again soon,

Sam

First fornight

So… 2017 is here!

I actually can’t recall everything I did these past two weeks– it just seemed like a cool title. Things have been good though. I feel like I’ve hit my stride.

This week, I’ve finished The Secret Life of Bees. Apparently still on my gritty streak, though, as I’ve realized I started my post-MOBY phase with the biography of a kidnapped child, followed by a book on the refugee experience, then Bees— and what’s the next one I grab? Deja Dead! No way! Yes way! I have a dark and twisted mind that wants to read dark and twisted books. Or ones about dogs. Case in point: I read A Dog Named Slugger from start to finish today. I don’t do this on purpose, I swear! I need to switch my subconscious to another channel. Any recommendations going in the other direction, I would be happy to hear! 🙂

First day back at dance today for 2017! It was great 😀 And I will be performing with the group this year as well, which I’m super excited about. My Saturdays have been forfeited to the arts.

I’ve been heavy into hygge lately and it’s been wonderful. And my weekends are my own and I love it! I’m going to melt into a puddle of contentment now.

Until next time,

–Sam

 

The Sammy Shuffle: part 23

I know ‘excellent’ is not typically a word people use to describe Mondays. But today was pretty darn good. I’m supposed to be making a real dinner, but I will most likely end up just making popcorn this evening 😛

I’ve been watching the TV show Switched at Birth – season 4 just popped up on Netflix. I like that the cast is made up of actors with lived experience and not just actors acting or researching roles, though I understand and value that view.

And it just made me think, that I really should take some disability studies courses! It would be so interesting to explore that more, to maybe meet more people who speak my language, or understand a bit of the culture in and around the disability community, learn something new, share experiences and perspectives.

So, next bit of that was, ok, where? Where could I take the courses? I thought right away of CapU, because hey! I know the campus, it’s nearby, they’ve got lots of courses available. In fact, they have a Kinesiology program, Special Education Assistant program, Autism Applied Behaviour Analysis program, even a Rehabilitation, Music Therapy and Care Assistant program… For crying out loud, they should have disability studies; the disabled community should have some actual presence and representation on campus…

Followed by, well, their disability services department is basically held together by a single dedicated person, the disability community there is zip or all still hidden away somewhere and afraid to venture into the light. The Accessibility (formerly Disability) Collective meetings were attended by maybe three people despite heroically active efforts to engage the wider community throughout my time there. And most people I talked to then (and continue to talk with now), gave the old sympathetic “I know exactly how you feel. I understand. Here, let me help you.” spiel without a clue what they’re talking about.

It made me sad, honestly. To think that Cap prides itself on being welcoming and inclusive and respectful of students from all over the world, from all different backgrounds, giving back to the community, when the visibility and voice of minority groups and the overall sense of community on campus is just so, so small. At least, that was my experience.

I’d just like to be truly seen and heard, to have a say, and nurture a greater understanding of this part of my identity, because I believe it is vitally important. And I’m not the only one, though sometimes it might feel that way.

More research is needed. The other option would be to take online/distance courses, which could be fun! Or just up and move across the country 🙂 I’m not slamming any doors.

The popcorn is calling!

–Sam

 

 

Hey you!

*A brief reminder to myself to make the most of 2017:

Do more of what makes you happy
Show up. Speak up. Stay current
Expression through art
Connect the dots
Small steps add up
Visit more often –people, places and paradise
Turn over the closet
Turn on the phone
Just do it –no filler needed!
Let go, take leaps and look up.
Write, play, live joyously

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PC: castleguard/Pixaby.com

Popcorn + Movies

It’s been an immersive experience lately!

I love being at home, making popcorn and watching and re-watching good films.

  • Captain America: Civil War
  • BBC’s Sherlock
  • Bones
  • Inception
  • BBC’s The South Pacific

Five stars all down the line! Popcorn gets five stars, too 🙂

Inception came out in 2010! Can you believe it? I can’t. I remember seeing it for the first time like it was yesterday. The documentary on the South Pacific was fascinating, narrated by Benedict Cumberbatch 🙂

And then, Sherlock is in its fourth season! Eeek! So excited to see how that all pans out.

Oh, and A Dog’s Purpose is on my to watch list. Amazing book, sure to be a great film. Just watching the trailer made me cry.

 

4 page scribble

I wrote with pencil and paper today what was on my mind — 4 pages later.

What a day for questions and dilemmas and fear. Listening to ‘Fault-lines’ and ‘The Matter of Meat’ on CBC is not doing anything to boost my sense of well-being today.

Quite a bit of rearranging and testing of the waters from inside has been done today.

I really don’t want to go outside. I don’t skate and the pathways are ice-rinks. It’s more stressful than I like to admit. Grandma suggested zip-lining as the new go-to. If it was an option, I’d go for it. Get me off the ground, please. My knee is an interesting shade of purple and as Inspector Clouseau would say, I’ve got quite the ‘bimp’ from my last encounter with the conditions outside.

Today has not been bad. But, my head hurts. I’m just feeling overwhelmingly annoyed, frustrated at the moment. I need to chill and drink some more tea, eat some cinnamon toast and think about dinner. Maybe play some cello?