Monthly Archives: December 2016

Almost guilty

via the Daily Prompt: Hopeful

Me, myself and I are rockin’ out over here. Today has been truly harmonious. I almost feel guilty for getting so much enjoyment from so little. Key word here is almost.

I got to be me today. It was great.

I so wish that people could see this side of me more often, that I could share it openly with those few close enough to celebrate with. And at the same time, it’s just so rewarding to find it within yourself and keep it there, to feed that spirit wholeheartedly. Sometimes I feel like to create the documentary of my life would be such a cool experience, honestly! My world is filled with such amazing people, so much music and vibrant simplicity, food and laughter.

You know that connection that is made on meeting? When something just clicks and you feel like this person walked into your life with perfect timing and clarity or a piece is captured and recognition sparks?

I’ve met one such person recently. We’d been in the same room for all of 2 minutes and assessing one another in seconds. I think, here is an ally. Warm and compassionate, funny. Bingo. And she says: “You’re obviously an introvert,” which had me laughing on the inside — that was fast. And then, “I’m noticing a lot of tension in your body,” which made my inner-self laugh even harder. Spastic diplegia is defined by tension. You will have to know me for longer than 120 seconds to find out what my ‘relaxed’ stance looks like.

My dad calls me ‘pretzel girl’ for good reason. That’s one thing I’ve noticed more and more, how normal tension sky-rockets during those times when I’d really rather not have my whole body broadcast to the world that I’m experiencing an emotionally charged situation or difficult time or wrestling through one of those tasks that everybody else does without a second thought but for me takes an exorbitant amount of brain power and concentration.  Oftentimes, playing it cool is just not an option. My limbs will go rigid, maybe even shake. My toes will curl and my body will twist. And if you say “Boo!” or “Woof!” I will jump and yell.

The Wikipedia article was an interesting read (click here).

Not sure where I was going with that. Today was golden though. I have to go make chilli with my favourite tunes, and then crash with popcorn and a movie. And butter. I have butter! I love butter! ❤

See you next year, I hope!

–Sam

Cheers!

via the Daily Prompt: Mope

The word mope makes me sad. I don’t think I’ve ever done much moping. As mentioned in previous posts, I usually manage to keep myself pretty positive and well-entertained 🙂

I have been called a ‘Christmas wimp’ by my mother, though– 3 times in one day, Christmas Day. For attempting to refuse chocolates and a hot mincemeat tart before 9am, for hesitating to have a Guinness with my turkey sandwich at lunch and for not eating enough pumpkin pie with whipped cream. It could be worse! My mom takes mothering, and good food very seriously. It’s a win-win, really 🙂

My aims over Christmas were to enjoy myself thoroughly, eat and sleep as much as possible, visit family, maximize hugs, watch movies, read my book and make sure my dog was happy. I think I got it all covered.

That’s it for the anti-thesis,

Cheers!

— A Christmas wimp

 

It’s all fun + games

Until somebody gets hurt…

Christmas Day:

Twink was the perfect gentleman, looking smart in his business bow and chewing cheerfully on his new favourite florescent green, rubber ‘rock’ #bestchristmasever ❤

RB the BT made a break for it and ate 150 grams of chocolate with tinfoil and I wanted to roll my eyes, laugh and cry all at once. Shit happens 😛

 Family game night:

Tumbling Tower. Myself, I had no illusions. I was the most likely loser, hands down. Forrest, the most likely victor, hands down. Says he: “I won’t lose; I’m after Sam.” Famous last words, bro 😀

Return trip:

Many happy returns and the 2 of the longest crossings in recent memory later… Waiting to be directed off the boat, I laugh until I cry, at some form of hilarity conjured in my weird and wonderful brain.

Rube to Mom: “Sam’s crying,” in a matter of fact tone. “Oh? Why?” Mom asks conversationally. “No idea,” my sister replies, voice tinged with amusement.

Mom: Laughing, “Well, at least you can keep yourself entertained, Sami.”

“We would have no idea if she were ever having a seizure,” my sister remarks dryly.

Me: Laughs harder.

Fast forward and the three of us are standing in line at the check out. “Haha! That’s funny! I crack me up.” Rube grins, looking up from her phone. “Look, see?”

“Hmm, well, that makes two of you,” Mom laughs. I cackle and Rube grins wider.

Just walking along and… boom!

Forrest commenting on some of the stories he hears at work, building crutches with the same stuff you see on the space shuttle…

“They say, ‘I was just walking along, and they broke. Just like that.’ But honestly? It can’t be done; the only way those tubes might break is if you ran over them multiple times in your truck.”

Days later I hit some black ice at the crosswalk and go down hard, as my Stix get ripped from my arms and slide into the middle of the roadway just before 9am. Prime traffic time. And I thought, Well, we’ll see now, maybe, how many passes under the tires it takes for them to bust. Thank God I have a spare pair at home. And, yes, Flip, that hurts! was in there, too 🙂 Apparently, it was the 9:54 lull, because not one car made an appearance during that 90 second interval.

Now:

Work went well, but I’m overjoyed it’s Friday. Tea and hot mincemeat tarts (and chocolate) is the best. Sitting here watching life outside my windows, listening to the Wailin’ Jennys and admiring my tree 🙂 Looking forward to 2017!

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Picture: Mr T on Christmas Day, 2016 by Ruby Riesco

German pencils, chocolate + bliss

via the Daily Prompt: Renewal

This list looks weird written down. But I’ve decided I’m cool with that. I am embracing my weirdness. Doing these things made me feel renewed.

Yesterday:

  • Worked in the morning and came home in the afternoon
  • Listened to the same song on repeat for 2 hours
  • Watched movies
  • Ate chocolate, and other goodies… 😀
  • Blogged
  • Puttered
  • Experimented with hot chocolate (4 cups later)… The directions and recipe were CRAP! I say THREE hefty TABLESPOONS and go slowly with the H20, to taste
  • Read 3 books, in part
  • Researched pens: where to by them, how they are made, how they die, and how to possibly bring one back to life — and it turns out, pencils are the better choice all around– the Germans make the best kind. Those guys have the coolest everything: cool dogs, cool cars, cool pencils…

Yesterday was a good day. Today was good too, but more mundane.

–Sam

See also:

Pillage

via the Daily Prompt: Pillage

I’ve not taken anything with violence today. I don’t live in a war-zone and it’s not something I even want to contemplate right now.

I’ve raided the pantry. Cleaned myself out of Christmas goodies and scorched my throat with some celebratory hot chocolate after skipping out of work early today to cultivate my own brand of R&R, cash in on some banked hours and catch up on some of these prompts that I’ve committed to for the month of December.

I’m really happy with how today has gone, and what I’ve accomplished over the past few days.

–Sam

 

 

Take a bow

via the Daily Prompt: Ovation

At first dig, I had nothing I wanted to write for this prompt. All my ideas seemed incomplete and inconsequential, fluff, filler. And I wanted more than that today.

And then, well, the ball started rollin’.

There was discussion over Christmas about the good, bad and ugly of growing up a part of the Coast’s fiddle culture, body image, stage presence, musicality and artistry and the importance of having fun and working hard to prepare for a performance that is enjoyed by both audience and artist(s).

And yet more discussion on disability and community, and sensational, inspirational media stories that just feed the public’s appetite for warm, fuzzy feelings and miss the real meat of the story. Quarterback takes friend with Down Syndrom to Prom or B.C. man documents his journey to overcome cerebral palsy. Everything is laid out so black and white: what an inspirational story, what a handsome, selfless young man, what a good friend, his parents must be proud. Life is hard, but with the right attitude you too can overcome! Sorry, but in my opinion, this is not news and I find the commentary misguided and the focus misdirected. Having healthy, loving relationships is important for everyone. Becoming stronger, healthier and happier and working your ass off to get where you want to be in life is admirable no matter who you are. Disability is not a deal-breaker. Nor is it breaking news. Stop it. Please, and thank you! 🙂

However, this story deserves to be shared, because it is a beautiful, artful performance by a truly talented individual, in tribute to Lenoard Cohen and in the spirit of Christmas. This deserves an ovation for all the right reasons. Enjoy!

–Sam

 

 

Retreat

via the Daily Prompt: Retreat

“Write it all down,” my mom told me once, when I was flailing in the dark and not sure anyone gave a crap about the pain I was living through. And I did. All the things I cannot say, I write. It keeps me from retreating and pushes me forward. It just feels right, it feels good. To just write. To just be. To just be me.

I attended a Qmunity workshop recently. The point was made that not everyone identifies with the gender binary, that oftentimes, gender is ambiguous or fluid and how many people struggle to find a representation of gender/preferences that allows them to be true to themselves and also be accepted and represented by a society where the binary is the norm.

And then the question was asked: Why do we have to identify at all? And I was like, “Yes!”

I get so tired of labels sometimes. They have their uses, sure. But sometimes, it’s nice to just let it be. To let a person be. Without burying them under a gargantuan pile of labels, assumptions and associations.

Case in point: strangers still will greet me by saying “What’s wrong with you?” and I want to say, “Do I look broken to you? Most normal people start with ‘Hello’ first…” 😛  So, in most cases, that’s how I respond, with “Hello,” and take it from there.

That’s all for today.

In a world where you can be anything, be kind                           — Unknown

 

 

Today’s the day

via the Daily Prompt: Festive

I was happy to wake up this morning. I had the misfortune to have three nightmares in a row Christmas morning. So, to wrestle myself firmly into reality and realize that it was finally the day — and how badly I really had to pee, was genuine relief.

I still get butterflies (good ones) on Christmas morning. Is that weird? Does it stop ever? I hope not 🙂

The waffles were delicious, as was the chocolate. I ate too much at dinner and had fun playing a few tunes, like old times.

It was a good day. Hope yours was as well.

–Sam

 

Bounty

via the Daily Prompt: Bounty

I watched a two-part documentary series on Knowledge about the rise and fall of the Incan empire. Theirs was a bountiful existence, they had it all figured out. For a little while anyways. Their mistake was in trusting the Spanish, who repaid Incan hospitality by ambushing, wounding and kidnapping their king and holding him for ransom — nice guys, those Spaniards 🙂

I highly recommend watching The Inca: Masters of the Clouds. It makes you think of how the world used to be, and some of the technologies and strategies, problems and solutions that arose hundreds of years ago, outside of the typical scope of Western/Eurocentric histories. Can we learn from our mistakes and build sustainability into our successes for the 21st century?

Just something to think about 🙂

–Sam

 

 

 

Hush

via the Daily Prompt: Discover

I like unplanned early mornings, mornings every once in a while — in my case at least –where you just happen to wake up at 3am or 5am when the world is quiet and still or at least not moving quite so fast. Sometimes I read, sometimes I just breathe, sometimes I’ll watch a movie. It is so restful, to just breathe with the world, silently and watch the stars (or the snow!) and hear the wind in the trees for a little while and go back to sleep before all hell breaks loose and the day begins and you need an actual plan and to take real action. Those early hours are an unexpected and welcome gift to myself; I’ve rediscovered their unique properties.

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PC: Pexels/Pixabay.com