So, spur of the moment decision — I’m gonna pick up the prompts again! I did this a few months ago (God, sorry! Make that January — the mind boggles).
Because… well, it’s more fun than dishes and more flexible than school and less work than work and gives me the motivation and excuse to write something everyday that maybe I wouldn’t go for all on my own. This girl needs a weird amount of structure and creative license in order to function. And, as I’m not going back to school and still navigating new territory here, well, I think writing will help in more ways than one.
Everyone, I think, likes to be able to pinpoint some event or time in their life and say, “Boom! That, right there is when I knew what I wanted, needed, had to do. And I did it (or not) and became what I am today (or not). And I know my worth and will share my wisdoms with the world.” But it is not that simple. You can’t boil human existence down to one event, one outcome, one viewpoint or experience. Life is full of variables and if you pick just one, well, in my opinion the findings are skewed. It’s a process, it always is. You are always learning, changing, adapting– you never stop becoming. And I know that personally, I’m still struggling with and to accept this idea.
If I just tick the right boxes, find the right resources, collect the right assets and accomplish A, B and C, then, voila! I will have made it to the top, realized my goals, become a fine specimen of a human being. As if status and achievement of any measurable success is all that’s worth living for, and to go on living it until you’re gone and another generation continues in your wake, with such narrow definitions of the above as to make you question why we are here.
It gets frustrating, wondering what the future holds, wanting to pin things down while at the same time avoid the soul crushing feeling of being boxed in, and up over and over and over again, and lacking support for the roads less travelled. I am still figuring out who I am and who I am becoming.
I have been labelled many times and the decision I have come to is this: call people what they want to be called. And, understand that everyone has a story and that you may not know all of it.
Do your best, and help others to do theirs.
These past few days have been great. However, I occasionally get into a place where I have nothing I want, need, or have to do– which leads to, shall we say, self-doubt as to whether or not I’ve done anything worth doing. Which is ridiculous. I mean, if you can’t take a few hours or days every once in a while and just enjoy doing nothing, you are doing too much.
So, with this in mind I am enjoying my last few hours of solitude 🙂 In my flannel shirt, with tunes and my claim to fame, which is bundled into everyday life here at Sami Central.
And, today’s prompt is cake; this weekend has been a slice.
I’m a little dizzy. I should probably eat something and maybe go for a walk around the block to clear my head. And that’s as far into the future as I’m willing to look, right now.
“I’m at that awkward stage between birth and death” –Unknown
*Entry posted in response to the Daily Prompt September 5th (Cake)