Stuck out of breath

Sometimes-I-have-to-remind-myself-that-I-dont-have-to-do-what-everyone-else-is-doing

PC: Source unknown. But I couldn’t agree more! ❤

I’ve been sitting here for the past 15 minutes, with nothing to say. I found some CDs and a huge book of James Herriot stories out thrift shopping with Rube. So I’m trying to cool off from the inside out, thinking cooling thoughts of Antarctic winters and abominable Snow monsters and ice-baths, because externally it’s like the Sahara and not much I can do about it.

I’ve got visions of what’s going on inside me, and what that would look like if it were visible on the outside. Zombie would be a good start, a few broken teeth maybe, a quietly brewing, toxic infection, a high fever and bone wrenching chills, some slow bleeding and a few ugly bruises, no lungs, stomach or voice to speak of. Hair that’s falling out. Eyes that cannot close, a body that cannot rest. Stress does weird things to a person.

I’ve found a limited amount of outlets for this so far, including hauling boxes, the occasional good cry and having done several laps in the pool, running up and down the stairs from the basement, seeing how fast I can make it down to 15th on foot, and how many people I can beat across the crosswalks or fool into jumping up for a none existent bus. I’d like to learn the art of Gaelic cursing 🙂

I love weekends. However, I’m actually looking forward to Monday, because it signifies a new week and new beginning that will be better than the one previous. Listening to Passenger, Juno OST, and Norah Jones, I’m inspired to shower and play some cello, make some stir-fry for dinner, do some space care and self-care, read and just breathe some air with some oxygen in it 🙂

This is my story, and I’m not going to explain it, or apologize for, or defend the way that it gets told. Not for caring either. Sometimes you have to do things for you, and no one else. The last quarter of today is for me 🙂

Goodnight, friends.

 

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