Monthly Archives: August 2016

Ghosts and Salt

“Who ya gonna call? Ghost busters!”

The afternoon was miserable. I locked myself out — all the way out. I was bloody and sweaty and cranky and yucky and clammy and cold. I had no phone, no contacts, no keys. And I was starving. I said to myself, “I need today to be tomorrow, so I can start over, please.”

Times have been trying lately. I’ve been dealing with a lot of ghosts. Ghosts of the past, mostly, but a good number from the present and future, too. I won’t go into it here, because I don’t have time and it’s really not that interesting, but it is just how I think and how I write and this is where I do my writing 🙂

So, that and my not having my ‘minor emergency numbers’ handy — though thankfully I always have my ‘life or death emergency numbers’ handy — made me think of Ghost Busters of which there is a new reincarnation I have yet to see.

And then, Mom says during these trying times to always take everything your elders say — (or really anyone, let’s be honest) with a grain of salt, and lately the sodium content has been climbing. This has made for some down-right difficult moments and at other times rather painfully awkward or cautiously comedic situations.

My grandma suggested I stop blogging, in response to backlash I received for one of my earlier posts. And in my head I was like, take it with a grain of salt, grain of salt, grain of salt (Grandma et al.). No. I am not going to stop blogging because of one person’s negativity. This blog makes me smile, I enjoy writing it and I would hope others enjoy reading it. It was a very salty few days, let me tell you.

In other news, work has been very, very busy. And, inhabited with its own population of ghosts…My coworkers have a habit of sneaking up to the door of my office and then peering in and saying, “Hey, Sam.” which is lovely, except that if I don’t see them or hear them because I’m on the phone, my startle reflex kicks in and I react like someone’s just fired a bullet past my ear.

The startle reflex is something we are all born with, and gradually lose, except if you have CP, in which case, you’re not so lucky 🙂 Read more here and here. Sometimes the sneaking is unintentional, however a growing number of people have learned of its entertainment value and try it just for fun. Some are better at ghosting than others, but I don’t often disappoint.

“Hi Sam.”

“Whoa!!!” Paper clips scatter and my pen flies out of my hand and bounces off the wall.

“Hi,” I say. “How’s it going?” 🙂

He laughs, quietly, leaning comfortably against the doorjamb. “Good. How are you?” Weekends are retold and questions answered, files updated and returned in short order and we get back to our days, smiling.

So, more ghosts, more salt and right now, I’m reading MOBY — Diana Gabaldon’s Written in My Own Heart’s Blood (Click here for more info), where ghosts and sodium abound. Ironically sodium is used to repel ghosts. So, does that mean I shouldn’t have any more ghosts? Or does it only work if I throw it over my shoulder and not in an other form? I can’t use it all in sweat and tears, and I have to leave some in the shaker, otherwise, how am I going to eat my popcorn?!

I don’t know.

I do like Diana though, and her writing. She has a wonderful sense of humour, an appreciation for time travel, fascinating characters that leap off the page and a commitment to superb detail and historical accuracy that is simply a joy to read.

I am hungering for tomorrow and a fresh start, to banish more ghosts and looking forward to the weekend that’s just around the corner.

–The End–

God only knows…

Laundry, Magic and Toxicity:

I re-watched Outlander last night: Season one, part one, disc one, episode one, scene one. It’s really the best episode. Just brilliant. I’d love to go behind the scenes on some of my favourite movies, to see all the pieces and how they fit together, kind of a whirl-wind tour, not to spoil the magic, but just to make myself that wee bit giddy and see the building blocks and meet a few of the people that put so much work into bringing these stories to life.

I’m keyed up and I have no idea what the rest of the world is doing, maybe it’s none of my business — but I’m pretty damn happy this morning and need to do a load of laundry.

I get that other people have opinions and knowledge and dreams and hopes and fears and important stuff they need to do, that they have worked hard for, but for crying out loud — so have I. Sometimes I need someone to listen and tell me everything is going to be ok, too.

I’ve been taking up a lot of sadness and toxicity lately and I’m emotionally fried. Some might think this is dramatic or for show or attention; it is not. It is the truth. And I’m afraid to be hurt, because getting hurt hurts! But I do it anyway. And maybe you learn some tough lessons, maybe you realize how much you care or how strong you are or how many unknowns make up the universe, but you come away with something.

I am worth it. I am smart and strong, beautiful and driven, compassionate and patient and committed. So, today I’m giving myself the gift of clean laundry, and really comfy shoes. And tea and a good book. Because a genuine smile can’t help everything, but it can help a lot of things.

God only knows what everyone else is doing today, or what thought is uppermost in their minds, but I know what I’m doing today and these thoughts are mine.

All the best,

Sam

 

 

All at once

9:30 I want to be everywhere, doing everything, all at once. Hooray for weekends!

15:30 I will be honest and say that today has been excellent, bar my industrious neighbour who has been vacuuming his spotless car and even tidier garage with a shop vac for the last half-hour! Please, shut the hell up and go have a beer! 🙂

19:30 THE RAIN IS COMING!!! 🙂 I’m so excited! I can almost taste it.

Toasty much?

It’s really freaking warm in here!

I’m scared to have a shower, because I think a few minutes naked in ice-water won’t have much lasting benefit in the current clime, and to have such short relief only to be back to boiling in under 10 minutes seems like cruel and unnecessary punishment.

I’m drinking water and reading, and trying not to move until the temp crawls the heck down to a habitable centigrade! Because, I honestly can’t think or eat or move in this heat.

TTFN, I’ll return when it’s nice and chilly!

Sam

Unhindered

Today has been quite the day. Yesterday was pretty good, too! The whole week has not gone smoothly, but I have felt equal and capable and strong throughout. I’ve lived for me and been clearheaded and just getting a crap-load of stuff done that makes me smile.

I got a tonne done at work today, and it went pretty fast, too — not to be overly superstitious, but you know it’s gonna be a good day when the post machine finally downloads the funds you’ve been trying to get for the past 3 days 🙂

One disgruntled and rather confused caller asked 3 times to speak to someone who was out of the office and then asked irritably, “Are you new?!” which made me smile 🙂 Can’t please everybody. I used to dislike talking on the phone, now though, it provides an ongoing source of information and entertainment.

I had a salmon sandwich for lunch which was to die for. Found a bit of greenspace to lie on and close my eyes for a few minutes over lunch. Met the famous Ruth — she really does exist! 🙂

The day ended perfectly and I walked home, where time slowed right down. And the temperature sky rocketed. My air-conditioned office is near and dear to my heart this time of year!

Escaped into my book for a good 1.5hrs, put the rice on, read some more, chopped some veggies and made stir fry for dinner which was pretty awesome… Read some more and realized it’s not even 8 yet. Thought about playing fiddle (too much movement required) and then settled here to write this. Because, well, then I only need to move my fingers, and I can watch the sun go down while listening to some tunes– that’s as close to multi-tasking as I’m likely to get (science advises against traditional MTing; you think you accomplish more than you actually do, and it fries your brain).

I never realized how short “The Needle and the Damage Done” is. I’ve got it on a loop, because I’m feeling nostalgic and Dad plays this each time he picks up his guitar and it’s what I used to fall asleep to when I was still at home, either from the foot of my bed or hearing it played softly across the hall. Plus, it’s just a really good song.

Good songs happened yesterday too, on my way home, steps matching perfectly with songs that seemed made for high-powered, effortless strides, sunshine and contentment. There’s just such an amazing feeling of connectedness, oneness and joy in moving unhindered.

 

Until I fall asleep

I’ve got new feet on my Stix! They work great and I don’t sound like a grumpy duck or hysterical cricket anymore, which is a relief! I walk funny enough as it is, no need to add bizarre sound effects 🙂

I had pancakes for dinner and they were DELICIOUS!

Now, I’m going to read until I fall asleep.  MOBY’s just starting to take off, and it’s bloody hot in here –so I may not fall asleep for a while 🙂

I’m dreaming passionately of autumn and crunchy leaves and pumpkins and cool dark nights.

Stay cool, friends — you don’t know how good you’ve got it 🙂

“Not to brag or anything…”

A good friend of mine posted this quote:

“Not to brag or anything, but I’m kind of a big deal to my dog…”

And it just cracked me up. Because that’s how I feel when I’m around my dog.

It’s just crazy that anybody could be that happy to just be with someone, even if they’ve been gone only five seconds.

It’s been proved by science that even thinking about a pet can reduce a person’s stress levels significantly. And for me to have spent two whole days with Mr. T., well let’s just say it was win-win 🙂

I told him about my day, and he listened without interrupting, we tossed the ball around the back for a good hour breathing in cedar-infused O2 and gazing at the stars, sitting on the back steps singing and rambling and engaged in those repetitive motions that do a soul good. I felt unbelievably small and incredibly happy.

I missed that feeling of melting dog as you find the sweet spot behind the ear or on the chest and and they get heavier and heavier as the bliss continues, and his Darth Vader impression as he asks around the ball in his mouth for me to please throw it again, tearing off with leaps and bounds and helicopter tail to find his treasure for the upteenth time.

I made popcorn on the stove, watched some home movies — impossible to do with a straight face — Ghost Town (also impossible to view straight-faced) and Harry Potter for good measure. Found some quality ebooks. Slept like the dead. It was really, really good.

I’m surprised sometimes by people’s true wisdom and unerring sense of timing. Thank you to all the amazing people in my life who remind me that I matter and that it’s ok to be me, quirks and all 🙂 Especially Mr. T.

Oh, and if anyone’s looking for that perfect surprise, I’d really love a strawberry milkshake and one of these t-shirts 🙂

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End of august

I can’t believe it is the end of August, just one week left.

I’m too tired to write and I’m getting used to reading again, getting back to the things that make me smile after an unfortunate hiatus.

I’ve got tunes by Joni Mitchell, The Rankin Family and Neil Young. I got to hang with Mr.T who can always make me smile. I’ve got pancakes. And fascinating tales, and people to laugh with. Fresh veggies. Ice cream. Breeze through the window. A warm bed — my bed. Fiddle. Cello.

I’m stepping back and standing up. I’m ready for another week, almost 🙂

Stay strong! Be kind, and don’t forget to smile!

–Sam

 

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(3) ‘To be alone…’

This series inspired by the sense of well-being brought on through knowing my dog is loved, Mom’s pork satay with yams and fresh tomatoes, homemade milkshakes, peanut butter toast, late night dinners and wide open spaces filled with warm light, singing along to Hozier’s To be alone at full volume after a long day of work and travel, to find peace at the end of it is just the best 🙂

(2) ‘To be alone…’

At home by myself, I’m usually like the proverbial kid in a candy store.

What shall I do first? Make food? Eat food? Read? Play fiddle? Turn on some tunes? Have a nap? Organize stuff? Jump up and down? Emit shrieks of glee? Write? Plan? Wonder?

I’m pretty good at embracing my introverted side 🙂

This goes to a whole other level when I’m on Malaview. Because, well, there’s no traffic or sirens screaming, a ton of trees pushing real oxygen into your lungs, a very good dog, some very good leftovers and great deal of musical and whimsical appreciation.

And I sit here now, out back, watching my dog wiggle his paws in the air, listening to some great tunes and writing the latest in a pretty much stress free– and sweat-free– environment, feeling pretty fabulous.